Act Naturally
by GuardianEnzo
Summary: Enzo's summer break is ending, and he desperately wants to spend some quality time with his brother. Amazingly, Matrix agrees, and both brothers get a lesson in growing up - along with more than they bargained for.
1. Getting Away

Author's Note: This fic is set shortly after the conclusion of "Guardian Blues". My timeline diverges from ReBoot canon at the close of Season Three, and Season Four has never taken place.

****

ACT NATURALLY

"A _what_?"

"A camping trip. Just you and me. Don't you think it'd be fun?"

Matrix scratched his head thoughtfully. He was surprised, and Matrix as a rule did _not_ like surprises. "Why would you want to go camping with _me_?"

Enzo looked hurt. "Why not? You're my brother, right?"

"Well – sure. But-" 

"You don't want to, huh?"

"I didn't say that. It just… I wasn't expecting it. What about Bob?"

Enzo smiled a little and shrugged. "I dunno. I spend a lot of time with Bob and it's great, I love it. He was at the Academy, and I've been home all summer. But we've never really done anything just you and me – y'know?"

"We're here now."

"This is just Al's!"

"We go to movies, and you come over for dinner and stuff."

"But that's not like really _doing_ something – that's just for a couple micros. And Andri is always there, too."

Matrix sipped his energy shake thoughtfully. "We were in that game – the Zaytan one."

"I was ten!"

"Yeah, well-"

"Listen, I… Just never mind." Enzo shook his head and stood. "It's no big deal. I'm gonna head back to the Diner-"

"Wait!"

The boy turned, one eyebrow raised defiantly. The expression seemed oddly familiar to his brother. "What?"

Matrix sighed deeply. "Let me think about it, OK? You just caught me out a little, that's all. There's a lot of stuff to think about – AndrAIa, work…"

"OK. But I go back to the Academy in three minutes, so don't think _too_ long."

"I rarely do."

Enzo snorted. "Cool. But you really don't have to go if you don't want to – it was just an idea."

The big sprite smiled and shook his head. "I know. Now sit down and finish your energy shake, will you? You're not leaving half my credit bar sitting on the table…"

"He wants you to do what?"

"Go on a camping trip." Matrix tossed his shirt aside and crawled into bed. "Pretty basic, huh?"

AndrAIa yawned and lowered her head to the big sprite's chest. "Actually, I think it sounds pretty pixelacious. You should go."

"What?"

"Sure." The game sprite grinned. "Why not? I think it's sweet that Enzo wants to spend time with you – he worships you, practically. And it'd be good for you – you work too deleted much." 

"But Andri, it… I mean – just me and Enzo? It'd be weird."

"Why? Why would it be weird, Sparky? I thought you put all that nonsense behind you hours ago!"

"I did!" Matrix replied defensively. "It's not like that…"

"Don't you miss Enzo when he goes to the Academy?"

"Sure I do. He's my brother, isn't he? I told him it doesn't seem right around here without him."

"So?" The game sprite kissed him tenderly. "Enzo needs you, Sparky – you're his big brother. You understand him better than anybody else, and he's going through all kinds of stuff right now. He's a teenager, you know? He just wants to connect with you – that's how he is. He wants you two to be close."

"We _are_. He understands _me_ better than anyone too, sometimes."

"Is _that_ the problem?"

"Don't start." Matrix growled. "Don't make it out like I'm scared of him or something. It's just a little, you know. _Uncomfortable_, sometimes." He sighed and kissed the game sprite's aquamarine hair. "You know it's still not that easy for me. With anyone besides you. And especially _him_."

"It's not his fault, Lover."

"I know that! I never said it was."

"Poor little Sparky." AndrAIa sighed. "He doesn't understand why everyone isn't like he is."

"Yeah, well…" Matrix kissed the game sprite's neck. "Sometimes I wonder if you don't like the little null better than me."

"Now don't _you_ start! It's just that I understand him, that's all. Better even than you do, once in a while." She smiled up at the bearded sprite. "He's still got so much of you in him, Lover. That's the sprite I fell in love with. He's part of my family – of course I love him. Don't _you_?" 

"Yeah, I guess."

"So? Go camping with him – it'll make him happy. It doesn't take much to make him happy – just be his brother. Who knows, you might even enjoy yourself!"

"Me?" Matrix replied tartly. "Well – if I go, what about you? Won't you miss me?"

"You know I will, Sparky." The game sprite punctuated her answer with a kiss. "But let's be honest – we've barely been apart for a cycle since we were ten hours old. I think I can survive a break of a few cycles."

"A _break_? Oh, that's nice!"

"You know what I mean! Don't worry, Enzo – I'll still be waiting for you when you get back. We've been together pretty much every cycle for fifteen hours – one minute-end won't split us up."

"I guess. I still don't know, though – there's system security to think about, and games-"

"I think between Bob, Dot, Phong and I we can handle all that." The game sprite groaned. She rolled over on top of Matrix, straddling him, and rose to her knees. "If you don't want to do this, Sparky, then don't do it – but be honest about why you don't want to. Don't look for excuses. I'll understand."

"Will _he_?"

"He'll get over it." AndrAIa smiled wanly. "I understand, Matrix – I really do, as well as someone without a code twin could. But when push comes to shove, he's just a thirteen hour-old kid." She kissed him again, tenderly. "Just a little boy – like you were. There's nothing he can say or do that'll change who _you_ are. And he doesn't even want to – he's fine with you as is. He just wants a little more of you in his life."

"All right, Andri. I'll think about it, OK?"

"OK, Lover." With considerably more mischief in her smile, the game sprite deleted the light.

"That was awesome, Dot – totally alphanumeric. As usual."

"Thank you, Matrix." Dot smiled. "It's good to know after two viral wars and a baby, I still have the touch with garlic chicken. Between the kids and running the system, I don't usually have the time to cook it anymore."

"Beats Academy grub by a kilobyte, Sis." Enzo grinned. "Even Mac liked it – and he usually doesn't eat anything that isn't completely gross!"

"I'm not sure how to take that…" Dot wrapped her arm around him and looked around the table wistfully. "It's so nice to have everyone together – we hardly ever seem to, any more. You're going back to the Academy soon, and everyone is so busy – they might even liberate the Supercomputer soon, and who knows how often Bob will be away then..."

"We should be so lucky!" Bob grunted. "That's one problem I'd love to have."

" I know, I know."

"And I only have another hour, Dot – then I'll be back full-time."

"And I'll be counting the milliseconds, Little Man. But you've got another few seconds of vacation right _now_, don't you? So let's enjoy it. Got any special plans?"

Enzo shrugged and stared at the scattered grains of rice on his plate. "Not much – just hang out, I guess."

"About that…" Matrix tapped his fork against his plate absently a few times. "Remember what we talked about the other cycle?"

"Yeah…" Enzo answered warily.

"Well – do you still want to?"

"Want to what?" Dot asked.

"Sure I do! I mean… Do _you_?"

"I've been thinking about it. Maybe it's not a bad idea. I could use a break, I guess-"

"What? What in the net are you two talking about?"

"Sorry Dot." Matrix smiled. "Enzo asked me the other cycle if I wanted to go camping with him. So, Kid?"

"Yeah!" the boy giggled. "Definitely! I can't believe you really want to go!"

"Whoa, whoa!" Dot threw her hands up. "Process a little slower, Boys – where did all this come from?"

"I asked Matrix to go camping with me – just the two of us 'cause, you know, we don't really do stuff together very much."

"And why didn't you tell _me_? Camping – with _Matrix_? Enzo-"

"I didn't think he'd say yes."

"You didn't?" Matrix arched an eyebrow.

"Dude – this is so cool! We're gonna have a great time, you'll see. Man, we can hike all cycle, maybe even go off-trail! And-"

"Pause button!" Dot scowled. "I don't know about this. Where would you even go?"

"There's a system – Muir, it's called. Mouse and Ray told me about it – they went there during the last school break. It's totally secure, and it sounds pixelacious – they have mountains and datafalls and-"

"You little null. You really had this all planned out, didn't you?" Matrix scowled. 

"A little, I guess." Enzo smiled. "I was just really hoping you'd say yes."

Matrix couldn't help but return the smile a little, in spite of himself. As always, the boy's enthusiasm was an irresistible force of nature. "Well, I thought about it and it didn't sound so bad, I suppose. But only if it's OK with Dot."

"I don't know…"

"Please?" Enzo grasped his sister's hand plaintively. It was a familiar posture for the both of them. "It'll be the first time I ever did anything like this with Matrix!"

Dot sighed. "I'll need to know more about this system – make sure it's safe. And there's transport, other things to worry about-"

"If Mouse says it's OK, I'm sure it is." Bob looked amused. "I'll contact her at the Academy and check the security arrangements and all that. If it checks out, I can portal the guys over there – not a problem."

"Alphanumeric! So howsabout it, Sis?"

"I'm outvoted. As usual! What about you, AndrAIa – are you OK with this?"

"Ecstatic!" the game sprite chuckled.

"Hey!"

"All right, all right – you can go."

"Pixelacious!"

"But you're responsible, Enzo." Dot turned to her oldest brother. "Enzo might be almost fourteen, but he's still a handful – I'm trusting you to make sure he stays safe."

"I got it, Dot – don't worry."

"A handful? Thanks a _lot_!" Enzo howled indignantly. "I'm about to be a second-hour Guardian Cadet!"

"You're not acting like one right now."

"I'm at the Academy most of the hour, and you're worried about a little camping trip?" the boy asked incredulously.

"They're trained professionals there." Dot smiled wryly. "And who's to say I don't worry about _that_, too? Just be careful, both of you – none of that testosterone-induced daredevil nonsense! Have some nice hikes and tell ghost stories and then come home."

"Thanks for your confidence, Sis." Matrix muttered. Not for the first time, he wondered just what he was getting into…

"What else?"

"I don't know – you've got your boots, your tent, compass, docking bag… What are you muttering about?"

"Nothing."

"What's wrong _now_, Sparky?" AndrAIa sighed. "You should be looking forward to this!"

"Yeah. Forward." Matrix tossed his pack onto their bed, wondering – not for the first time – if there was some bug inside him that made it too easy to see the negative aspect of things. "I just didn't like Dot's attitude, that's all."

"What attitude?" AndrAIa pulled him over to the bed and sat beside him. "She's just worried about Enzo, that's all – what's wrong with that?"

"Well – she's overprotective, for one thing. But that's not what's bugging me."

"So what _is_? She's worried about him going off into the woods, hurting himself or something-"

"No she's not." Matrix scowled. "If he was going with Bob, Dot would put on a little show but she wouldn't really worry. She's worried because the kid's going with _me_."

"What? That's silly!"

"Is it?" Matrix absently began rearranging the items in his pack. "When push comes to shove, she doesn't really trust me. Especially with _him_."

"Sparky…" AndrAIa squeezed his huge hand and was silent for a moment. Matrix knew from experience that she was searching for a delicate way to say something she didn't think he wanted to hear. "You don't really believe that, do you?"

"_Please_."

"She trusts you." The game sprite kissed his cheek and smiled. "She just remembers that things were a little… rough between you and Enzo at first. And like you said, she's overprotective when it comes to Little Sparky."

Matrix met her glance head on, his face momentarily taking on the defenseless innocence of his youth. "Have I ever given Dot any reason to think I'd hurt Enzo? Have I?"

AndrAIa looked away, for just a nano – but it might as well have been an hour. "Of course not-"

"Spam! That was _one_ time – and she _knows_ I didn't mean to grab him so hard! He just… He got me so upset with all those spammed questions-"

"I know. I know."

"Doesn't she know I'm sorry about that? I told the kid I was… If _he_ can forgive me, why can't she?"

"There's nothing to forgive you for, Sparky." AndrAIa whispered. "It was a long time ago and nobody meant for anything to happen. Dot's forgotten all about it."

"I don't think so." The bearded sprite mumbled. "I… I'm different now than I was then… But she doesn't believe that."

"So – you got everything, Tiger?"

"I think so." Enzo had meticulously checked off every item in his pack two or three times, not wanting to give Matrix any reason to chide him once they were on Muir, where supplies and equipment would be few and far between.

Bob sat on the bed, investigating the contents of the boy's backpack. "Got your toothbrush? Clean underwear?"

"Who are you – Dot?"

"Sorry!" the Guardian chuckled. "I _am_ officially a father, you know – I'm allowed to act like one once in a while."

"I know." The boy grinned shyly. "It's OK – I like it. Whoa – software bug repellant!" He dashed for the bathroom at breakneck speed, and was back in a few nanos. "I knew I forget something."

"You look pretty prepared to me. You bringing that buck knife I got you for your last birthday?"

"Course." Enzo patted his back pocket and sat next to the Guardian. He wondered - not for the first time - if there wasn't some flaw in his programming that made him look for things to worry about, even if they weren't there. "Bob… You're sure you don't mind not coming with us?"

"Kiddo – I told you a dozen times, I understand. No big file."

"It's not that I don't wanna go camping with you-"

"I know." Bob smiled and wrapped an arm around the boy. "I know how it is with you and Matrix, Tiger. We've done stuff like this lots of times already – it's good for you and Matrix to have some time together."

"Yeah." The boy nodded. As sincere as Bob sounded, he just couldn't shake the guilt at leaving him behind. _Stupid! He's got Dot and Mac, and he's told you a million times it's OK… Like he cares if you change servers for a few cycles! Just stop worrying_! "You're sure it's OK?"

"Enzo-"

"I know, I know – sorry!"

Bob grinned and playfully tousled the boy's hair. "I never had a brother, Tiger – not really. I want you guys to be close. Just go and have a good time and don't worry about anything else, all right? Remember all the outdoor survival stuff I taught you."

"Always." Enzo nodded. "_Not really?" I wonder what-_

"Good boy. I expect you to bring back some good stories, you got me?"

"Yes, Sir." The boy grinned. "I always do."

"You _do_, don't you? It's exhausting."

"Bob!"

"Enzo! Your brother is here!" Dot's voice called from the living room.

"K!" the boy shouted back. "Guess I got everything." Bob hoisted the pack and Enzo slipped his arms through the straps. "Now I kinda wish you were going with us-"

"Stop that now!" the Guardian laughed. "We'll get 'em next time, Pal. This is Matrix' turn. Just be careful and have fun."

"K." Enzo smiled and headed for the living room. He really _did_ wish Bob was going with them now – things were always so much easier with Matrix when Bob was around.

When he saw his big brother standing in the living room – seeming to _fill_ about half the living room – he felt a few doubts start to creep into his processor.

"Hey, Kid." Matrix nodded, unsmiling. His backpack dwarfed the one on Enzo's own slender frame. "You about ready?"

__

Would it delete him to look like he's glad to see me? "Hey,Bro. I got everything, I think."

"I hope so – I don't wanna have to portal off the system because you forgot your teddy bear or something."

"Log off! That's not funny."

"We're off to a fine start, I see." Dot sighed. She took Enzo by the shoulders with a weary smile. "You be careful, OK? Don't do anything basic."

"Dot! I won't." the teenager mumbled, shifting uncomfortably. "I'm almost fourteen – you can trust me."

"That's what I'm worried about – I was almost fourteen once myself! Just have fun. Listen to your brother, all right?"

"Yeah." Enzo could sense it coming, any nano… And there it was – the kiss. He could feel Matrix' eyes and his own cheeks burning. "Geez…"

"See you in a few cycles, Sweetie. Love you."

"Love you." Enzo whispered, kissing his sister quickly on the cheek. "Let's get going, already!"

"Right." Bob suppressed a giggle. "I'll open the portal outside, just in case there's any instabilities."

"Cool." Enzo followed the Guardian quickly out the door and into the diner, his older siblings falling in behind them.

"Have fun." His sister's voice came from behind.

"We'll try." Matrix' gruff reply.

"Enzo… I'm trusting you here, all right? Make sure he doesn't get into any trouble."

"Dot!" Enzo barked, not turning.

"You _can_, you know." Matrix said pointedly.

There was silence for a few nanos as they walked. "I know." Dot finally answered. "It's just me worrying, that's all." They were outside now, on Baudway. "Have fun, you two. Take some nice .JPEGs, if you think of it."

"Will do." Enzo finally allowed a look at his sister, his anger at her condescension quickly fading. He saw the worry in her face and smiled reassuringly. "I'll be careful, Sis – promise. And Matrix can look after me, no problem." His big brother arched an eyebrow in surprise.

"Here we go, Guys." Bob closed his eyes in concentration, working his hands in front of him. A portal shimmered into the ether in front of him, and the Guardian wearily exhaled. "All set?"

"Yup." Bob stepped into the portal, the two Matrix brothers close behind him.

"One last thing!" Dot called urgently. Her two male siblings turned, warily. "Please try not to delete each other, all right?" Matrix and Enzo shared a quick glance, and older brother disappeared into the portal. "See you in three cycles."

"Bye, Sis!" With a grin and a wave, Enzo followed his brother into the portal.

"Wow." It wasn't much, but judging from Enzo's face it was the most enthusiast sentence the teenager had heard his sibling utter in quite a while.

"Yeah – wow." The landscape confronting them was achingly beautiful. They stood at a junction of two trails, one leading off to a thick forest of green directory trees a stone's throw ahead of them, following the course of a gently gurgling data stream. Beyond it, lush mountains rose into a piercingly blue sky.

"Not a bad spot – Mouse knows her nature, I guess." Bob nodded approvingly. "OK – I'm meeting you guys here in three cycles, right? Twenty-five hundred, right at this junction."

"Right – we'll be here."

"Have fun." He winked and stuck out a hand, pumping each Matrix brother's grip firmly. "And stay frosty." With that, he stepped into the portal and if popped into nothingness, leaving them only the beauty of their surroundings and the burbling of the stream for company. 

Enzo and Matrix looked around for a nano, then met each other's glance. A small smile formed above the elder's beard, and Enzo grinned widely in response. "Pixelacious, Dude!"

"Yeah. You ready to wear out those boots?"

"Let's do it!"

"You go first."

"Why?"

"So you can set a comfortable pace for yourself. If I go first I won't know whether I'm going too fast for you to keep up – and I don't trust you to tell me if I am."

Enzo scowled. "Matrix! Spam – that's… I can keep up, no problem."

"Common sense, Little Bro. The slowest member of the party sets the pace and the fastest adjusts downward. Keeps everybody fit for the longest possible time."

"Slowest, huh? Thanks a lot! I haven't been designing Barbie dresses at the Academy for the last hour, you know." With a shake of the head the boy strode off – briskly – towards the forest.

"Don't take it personal, Enzo. It's just physics – my legs are longer than yours so my normal pace is faster. It's not anything you did wrong. Now – slow down!"

"Why?" Enzo called back in sing-song. "Can't keep up?"

"Stop it!" Matrix was about to scold the boy harshly, but caught the words in his throat. He _was_ the big brother, after all – and Enzo was a kid. You had to make allowances. "Enzo – let's not start off the trip like this, OK? I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Just slow down and walk at a normal pace. We're not in a race – we're supposed to have fun."

The younger sprite slowed his pace, incrementally. Neither said anything for several millis as they left the grassy meadowlands near the trail junction and the trees around them slowly thickened into lush forest. Matrix soon found himself caught up in the allure of the place – it was so different from Mainframe. He'd seen forested systems during his travels with AndrAIa, but always with a cloud of worry and guilt shrouding his processor. Now, the green of the trees and the singing of the birds and the stream were there to be appreciated, purely for their own sake. "Sure is nice, huh?"

"Yeah." Enzo replied, craning his neck to stare up at the tall canopy above them. "Definitely cool."

Matrix walked astride the boy and clapped his shoulder, smiling gruffly. "Wanna take a break? That looks like a good spot – those flat boulders near the stream."

"I'm not tired."

"Neither am I. But it looks like a nice spot."

"Yeah." Enzo allowed a smile and lowered his pack onto a large boulder with a grunt. "Very nice."

Matrix doffed his larger pack next to the other and sat on a flattish rock the size of one of the booths at Dot's. Enzo bounded on top of the rock and sat, cross-legged, next to him. "Want something to eat, Kid?"

"Maybe a little. I brought some energy bars – wanna split one?"

"Sure." 

The brothers dug into their packs and produced data bottles, and the younger dug through his, pulling out a stack of bars. "Banana?"

"Banana? Yuck." Matrix scowled. "What else you got?"

"You used to like banana!"

"Well, duh! How'dya figure that one out, genius?"

"Shut up!" Enzo growled, punching his shoulder. "How about java-chocolate?"

"Better." The boy unwrapped a bar and snapped it in half, handing the larger section to Matrix. "Thanks."

"NP." Enzo bit off most of his half. "Mmmf. So what happened – why don't you like banana anymore?"

"I dunno. Your tastes evolve, I guess – you try new things and you like some of them, and you don't like some of the old ones anymore."

"D'you still like pizza?"

Matrix smiled. "Some things will _never_ change, Pal – get real." Matrix nibbled thoughtfully on his bar, savoring the bitter tang of the java in his throat and the glittering of the stream at his feet. "Thanks for telling Dot what you did. About me looking after you."

Enzo wiped his mouth with a sleeve and stared at his brother for a nano. "It's cool, Enzo. I don't think I _need_ you to – I've been on my own at the Academy for a whole hour. Dot's such a pain, sometimes… But I know you _could_, if you had to."

"Well – thanks. Not that Dot believes it – but thanks."

"Welcome." The boy mumbled, blushing a little. _Probably not used to me being so nice to him. _Matrix thought to himself. "Want another bar?"

"Nah – I'm fine. We can stop for lunch pretty soon, anyway."

"K." Enzo drew his knees up and rested his chin on them, grabbing bare ankles. Both sprites stared out at the silvery data stream and the carpet of green beyond it, the silence between them strangely comfortable. After a while Matrix turned his gaze onto the younger sprite, struck as he occasionally was by the familiarity of what he saw. It was so strange, staring at a memory… The memory of a boy in transition, still a child, but with the promise of manhood beginning to show itself in broadening shoulders and lanky limbs.

The face was a memory too – but a strange one, different, as if seen through a distorted lens. Enzo's face still held a vestige of openness, a gentle compassion that Matrix remembered from the moon-faced boy staring back from the mirror when he was small, but long vanished by the time his face began to take on the handsome adolescent visage that he now saw in Enzo. Suddenly, powerfully, he wanted more than anything for that vestige to remain forever, to never be driven out.

Enzo squirmed, seemingly aware that his older sibling's eyes were turned in his direction. "What?"

"Nothing." Matrix smiled. "Just noticing how tall you were getting, that's all."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Gonna be as tall as Dot soon."

"Not likely." Enzo sighed. "I'm still the shortest guy at Academy, I think. And no matter how much I work the weight machines I still look like a skinny little kid."

"Chill." Matrix patted the boy's shoulder. "You're younger than they are – the height will take care of itself. And you're filling out just fine – you're getting some muscle definition. Just keep working out and don't rush it."

"Easy for you to say! I wanna be strong, like you."

__

Strong – like me? "Don't drive yourself offline over it, Kid. You don't want your muscles too big when you're still growing like you are. Besides – there's more to being strong than having huge muscles. Being smart and fast is way more important. Look at Bob!"

"Yeah, Bob is alphanumeric." Enzo nodded. "But you're stronger."

"Enzo…" Matrix shook his head and stared back out over the water. "I'm not proud of these muscles. They don't mean anything."

"What?" Enzo protested. "You're lying!"

"No I'm not. Don't get me wrong – I'm glad I can take care of myself if I have to. But all those hours I spent driving myself till I dropped, trying to get stronger and stronger… I was just doing it because it was easier than dealing with my real problems."

"What do you mean?" Matrix felt a small hand on his elbow.

"It's not important."

"Matrix, c'mon! Tell me."

Matrix smiled, sighed. "We've talked about some of this stuff before. Just don't get hung up on big muscles proving how tough you are, that's all you need to know. You should know by now that you don't have to be big to be strong – you of all sprites! Right?"

"I dunno…"

"Enzo – you do. Look at what happened at the Academy, with those bullies. The game, everything else. They could have deleted you, and your little girlfriend. They were bigger and stronger than you, weren't they?"

"Well – yeah, but-"

"But _nothing_." The bearded sprite clapped Enzo on the back. "You were strong when you had to be, and you didn't need to overpower anybody. You just had to be smart and brave."

"It was easy." The boy whispered. "What they wanted to do to Lisa… I couldn't let them do it. I had to beat them."

"Yeah. So you proved you can take care of yourself. Even if you are a little guy. For now."

"I guess." Enzo picked up a pebble and tossed it into the data. "It's just… I'm really tired of being the smallest. I've always been the smallest at home, you know. Everybody taking care of me and everything. I thought it would be different at the Academy, but it isn't! I'm still the smallest, and everyone _still_ worries about me! Mouse and Ray and Laser and even Quantum."

"Quantum?"

"One of the second-hour guys. He kinda… kinda helped me out a couple times."

Matrix felt a stab of envy, the pettiness of the emotion bothering him as much as the emotion itself. "Must be nice to have so many sprites worry about you. When I was your age, there _were_ no bigger sprites looking out for me – I was on my own."

Enzo blushed. "Sorry, Matrix. I didn't mean – I know it was a lot worse for you-"

"It's OK – I'm just saying, appreciate what you have. You have to work a little harder to convince them you can handle yourself, that's all."

"Yeah." The boy smiled up at him, and Matrix couldn't help but be moved by the honesty of the gesture. "It's nice to have people worry about me and want to take care of me. But you know what I really want?"

"What?"

"To take care of _them_." Enzo sighed. "I want to be the strong one and make sure everyone _else_ is OK, you know? I want them to look at me and feel safe because I'm around. Like people do with Bob." The boy looked away. "And you."

"Enzo…" Matrix didn't say anything for a few nanos, finding himself falling back into the frustrated loss for words that had been his companion for most of his adolescence and young adulthood. He awkwardly wrapped an arm around Enzo's shoulder. "You will."

"Maybe." The boy stared moodily out over the data and flicked another stone over its surface. "I… I guess that's one of the best things about Lisa. You know – being with her." He blushed a deep crimson. "I feel like I can protect her, even though deep down I know she can take care of herself."

Matrix smiled, then quickly bit down on it, knowing how his brother would interpret the expression. "That I understand. That's exactly how it was with me and AndrAIa."

"Yeah?"

"Uh-huh. Still is, I guess. Andri is one tough sprite, Kiddo."

"Yeah." Enzo grinned widely. "Yeah. Lisa is too. Her Dad-… Well - she's tough. But really great."

"Pixelacious." Matrix stood and shouldered his pack. "C'mon – I'm ready to roll, what do you say?"

"Sure." Matrix hoisted Enzo's pack and slipped it over the boy's outstretched arms. "I'll go first."

"Oh really?" Enzo giggled and strode back onto the trail and his brother fell in a pace behind him. "Hey."

"What?"

"I'm always gonna have your back, you know. Watch out for you."

"Great." Enzo growled. "That makes me feel all grown-up. Thanks a _lot_."

"That's what big brothers are for. When Mac gets to be your age, you'll understand what I mean."

The boy looked back over his shoulder, smiling slightly. "I kinda do, actually. I worry about him, sometimes. And then I think I'd delete anybody that ever tried to hurt him."

"Yeah." Matrix smiled back. They marched on for a few micros, the trail slowly gaining elevation. "Hey – do you have sunscreen on?"

"What?"

"Sunscreen. Are you wearing any?"

"No – I forgot. What's the big?"

"Stop." The bearded sprite said firmly, grabbing Enzo's pack and bringing him to a halt. "You gotta wear some – at least on your face and the backs of your legs. Dot'll delete me if you come back burned to a crisp."

"Matrix – Jeez!" the boy scowled.

"Did you bring any?"

"Yeah. Outside pocket." The elder brother rummaged through the younger's pack and retrieved the lotion. "I would have remembered, you know."

"Sure you would." Matrix held out the tube and Enzo took it with a sigh. "But it was a good thing I was here to help you remember, wasn't it?"

"Smart ASCII." Despite his show of exasperation, Enzo couldn't fight off the beginnings of a grin at the corners of his mouth.   



	2. Bare Essentials

****

ACT NATURALLY

CHAPTER II

It was nice, not having to talk. Enzo liked to talk by nature, and silence freaked him out a little sometimes – though not as much as when he was younger. And if he were honest, he'd be the first to admit there were plenty of times he wished that conversation came easier with Matrix than it did – that an easy, relaxed flow of communication was their norm rather than the tantalizing exception. But if it wasn't always easy to talk to Matrix, it was easier _not_ to talk to him than anyone else – easier to just _be_ with him, wordlessly. He knew Matrix would understand what he meant.

The boy felt himself slipping into an easy rhythm as the afternoon wore on. The sound of footfalls was a steady drumbeat in his ears as the trail wound through thick green directory trees, the gurgling stream leaving them occasionally but always winding it's way back to share their path. As the trail rose gradually and the mountains in the distance grew closer, they trekked through occasional clearings where the trees gave way to broad meadows of tall grasses and wildflowers, butterflies soaring gracefully on the afternoon breezes. They stopped for lunch in one of the meadows and when they resumed, the stream began to churn a little more loudly and meander less as the day grew hotter and they gained in elevation.

Enzo was secretly glad he'd applied the sunscreen as he felt the sweat begin to trickle down his face and back, and he began to breathe a little harder. "Dude – warm here."

"Yeah." Matrix huffed. "It's actually not that hot, but we're exerting ourselves pretty hard. Wanna take a break?"

"In a few. Let's wait till we find a really good spot."

"Cool. Take a drink – make sure you keep yourself hydrated. According to the map there's a spring a little further up the trail – drinkable data. We can refill all the bottles."

"OK, Dot." Enzo mocked, taking a long swig from his bottle.

"You pick up that smart-ASCII attitude at the Academy?"

"Hey, just shitting you! Chill, Dude."

"Along with that language." Matrix sighed. "Dot'll be pretty disappointed."

"Dude – you wouldn't tell her!" The boy looked back over his shoulder, only to see Matrix grinning back at him. "_Now_ who's the smart-ASCII?"

"Takes one to know one."

"Man…" Enzo scowled and turned away, the odd sound of Matrix chuckling behind him. After a few more milliseconds of hiking, Enzo heard a low roar above the sound of the rushing stream beside them. "What _is_ that?"

"Dunno. Could be a swarm of bees, I guess."

"No way!" They walked a few more millis, Enzo feeling slightly nervous and annoyed at himself for it as the noise grew louder. They rounded a curve in the trail, and the boy pulled up suddenly. "Dude!"

"What is it?" Matrix pulled up alongside him, frowning, then smiled as he saw what had brought his brother up short.

"Enzo – it's pixelacious!" Before them the stream spread into a large pool, glinting silver and blue in the late-cycle sun. The hillside beyond the pool rose sharply, and the stream thundered down its face in a series of four cascades, each twice again as tall as Matrix and spewing huge clouds of mist, before the final cascade emptied into the pool. "That's totally beautiful!"

"You're not spamming. Nothing like this in Mainframe…"

"Yeah." Enzo dropped his pack, grinning, and trotted over to the data's edge. "This pool looks alphanumeric. It's deep!"

"Careful."

The boy wiped his forehead with a sleeve. "It's so hot… I bet that data would feel awesome."

Matrix frowned. "Enzo…"

"C'mon, Big Brother – it looks perfect for swimming! I'm so hot…"

"I don't think so. I didn't bring a suit, anyway – did you?"

"No…" Enzo slipped off his boots and socks, and dipped a toe into the pool. "Oh, Man – it's perfect!"

"No."

"Why not?" Enzo heard the pout in his voice and winced internally, just for a nano. "We're on vacation – we're supposed to be having fun!"

"Don't give me that." Matrix scowled, walking to the pool's edge. "It's silly – we don't have suits and we'll get all wet, and-"

"So what?" Enzo dashed to a pile of boulders near the foot of the cascades and scrambled atop it. "So we get wet – we'll dry off. It'll be great!"

"Enzo-"

"Dude – it looks pixelacious!" Enzo slipped his shirt over his head and dropped it to the stone beneath his feet. "I've never skinny-dipped, anyway – I'm like the only guy at school who hasn't."

"Enzo, don't! Come down from there."

The boy stuck out his tongue, giggling. Turning away from his brother and blushing, he slipped his shorts – and his remaining modesty – down to his feet and stepped out of them, trying not to think about what he was doing long enough to let the embarrassment overwhelm his impetuous mood.

"Enzo!"

"YEEEEEEEEEEEHA!" With a scream, the boy took two steps and felt himself hurtling through the air. He drew his knees up to his chin and hit the data in a perfect cannonball. There was a breathtaking rush of cold, then he was under the surface, the data so clear he could see the trees shimmering by the poolside as clear as day.

He broke the surface, teeth chattering, and the light was blinding as he did. He felt alive, all over – it was a truly wonderful sensation. "Oh, man! This is pixelacious!"

"Spammit, Enzo – get out of there right now!"

"Byte me!" The boy grinned up at his brother, dog paddling in place, hair matted over his face. "It's the best, Dude – come in! I promise you'll love it!"

"I'm not coming in. It's stupid!"

"Why, Matrix? It's hot out and the data's great, and we're on vacation. It's not like we're supposed to be anywhere! Come in – please?"

"Stop it!" Matrix scowled. "I'm not gonna get all wet and have to dry off, and… and it's just stupid. Come out."

"Aw, Dude…" Enzo, remembering the clarity of the water, turned away from his brother quickly. "I promise not to tell anybody if you do." There was silence behind him. "Matrix? How about it?"

"Stupid…" The boy heard his elder brother exhale deeply once, twice. "I guess we're not going anywhere until you get dried off anyway – we're stuck here for a while, you've seen to that."

"Sorry."

"No you're not." There was just a hint of amusement in the voice, beneath the usual Matrix annoyance with the net. Enzo heard footfalls, than the soft impact of cloth on stone. "I'd get the hell away from there, if I were you."

"What?" There was a movement out of the corner of his eye, towards the boulder pile.

"When I hit the data, most of it's gonna end up on the banks. And if you're anywhere near the impact zone you'll be flatter than a floppy." Enzo laughed in delight and kicked away, towards the far end of the pool. "I must be basic…" There was a slap of bare feet on rock, than a rumbling shout. "Look out, beloooooooooow!"

"Yeah!" Enzo squealed as the splash covered him, drenched him again. Matrix sank towards the bottom of the deep little pond for a few nanos, then broke the surface spluttering. "Dude – you rock!"

"I sink like one!" Matrix shouted. "Crash – this is deleted _cold_!"

"Yeah – feels great, doesn't it?" The warmth of the sun on his face and the cool of the data on his body were wonderful, spectacular in their purity of sensation. And he was with his brother – no one else, just the two of them and Matrix was smiling like a little kid. Enzo laughed and started into a languid backstroke then, with a start and a blush, thought better of it and flipped into a freestyle circuit of the sparkling pond. "Alphanumeric!"

"Yeah – it ain't bad, Kid." Matrix roughly tousled Enzo's wet hair and the boy laughed, continuing to swim. "I haven't done anything like this in a _long_ time."

"I _never_ have." Enzo playfully splashed water on the bearded sprite as he swam around him.

"Hey!"

"Slowpoke. _I'm_ the boss in here!"

"We'll see." 

There was a splash behind him. Enzo kicked for a nano, then turned and began to wade in place. "Matrix? Matrix?" The boy scanned the shore for a nano, then squealed as something grabbed his foot. In a flash, he was under. Matrix released his foot, but now the hands were on his shoulders holding him down, and he could see his brother's grinning face just above the surface. He struggled and kicked, but the grip on his shoulders was strong as a viral claw. 

Just as his lungs began to feel uncomfortably empty the pressure on his shoulders was gone, and his head broke the surface. The boy gulped mouthfuls of air as fast as he could. "You son of a null!"

"Who's the boss in here now – _Kid_?"

"Spam! You caught me by surprise, that's all." Those huge hands were pushing down again. "No – wait! You're the boss!"

Matrix laughed and splashed his face. "Don't you forget who the big brother is, Enzo. I've been swimming since before you were compiled."

Enzo spat data and scowled. "Bully."

"You can take it." The two sprites treaded data, kicking in place, until finally Enzo cracked a smile. "See?"

"You're still a son of a null. But at least you remembered how to have fun."

"Never forgot." Matrix grinned, then kicked off into a graceful freestyle. Enzo followed suit, and the two brothers enjoyed the data for a while. Enzo felt as if he were in a dream somehow, all of his responsibilities and worries vanished and gone. Washed away.

As they swam, Enzo began to feel embarrassment creeping back into his processor. Matrix didn't find any awkwardness in their situation, or didn't _seem_ to anyway – and why would he? He'd already _been_ Enzo, after all. But when Enzo allowed himself to think of it he felt himself blush at the thought of his nakedness in a grown man's presence – even if that man was just an older _him_.

And when that thought crept into his processor it brought an overwhelming curiosity with it, stronger even than his embarrassment. Matrix _was_ him – him in twelve or so hours maybe, but still him. And _that_ was a fascinating notion, to say the least. Feeling the blush on his face burn more fiercely than ever, the boy submerged and kicked, feeling himself cut through the data. He closed his eyes and concentrated on the sensation of flight, trying to distract himself from other thoughts.

There was a vibration to his left, and Enzo knew he was passing close to his brother. Unbidden his eyes opened and he allowed himself a glance, just for a nano. But it was enough – he inadvertently swallowed and came up, sputtering.

"You OK, Kid?"

"Yeah!" Enzo coughed, turning away. "Sorry – just got some data in my mouth. I'm fine."

"You sure? Your face is all red." Matrix' hand was on his back.

"Yeah." The boy smiled over his shoulder. "Thanks."

"NP."

"You about ready to get out?"

"I guess. It was pixelacious, though."

"Told ya." With a grin, Enzo kicked over to the boulders and pulled himself up. "I got a towel in my pack – did you bring one?"

"Yeah."

"Cool." His pack was all the way on the other side of the pond – it seemed like a mile! Still blushing, the boy wrapped his T-shirt around his waist and was dismayed to find that it didn't meet in the back. Holding it in place with both hands he scampered towards his pack, the sounds of soft laughter in his ears. "What's so spamming funny?"

"_You_." Enzo found his towel, dropped his shirt and tied the towel around his waist as Matrix clomped towards him. He felt the strong hands that had held him under the data tousle his drenched hair gently. "You're a good kid, Enzo."

"Whatever." Not looking backwards, the younger brother padded towards a sunny patch of grass and lay back, hands behind his head. After a few nanos a towel-clad Matrix flopped down next to him. "That sun feels a lot better now than it did before we went in the data."

"Yeah." Matrix chuckled. "Nice and warm."

"What's so spamming _funny_?"

"I told ya – _you_ are. You always could make me laugh, Kiddo. And that's not easy."

Enzo sighed and helplessly knew he was blushing. "You've told me that before."

"I know."

The brothers reclined, eyes closed, for several millis, enjoying the soft, fragrant grass under them and the warmth of the setting sun as it dried the data from their skin. Enzo heard chuckling again and opened his eyes warily. "What _now_?"

Matrix winked. "Gonna have to start calling you "Fuzzy"."

"What?!"

"Nothing – Fuzzy."

"Spam!" the younger Matrix gasped. "That's not funny, Enzo!"

"It is from _here_, Kiddo."

"Matrix – stop!" Enzo punched his brother's shoulder, hard, but it felt as though he was impacting an unyielding wall. "That's not funny, Spammit!" Matrix only stared back at him, choking on his laughter. "I liked you better when you never smiled, you ASCII. Shit…" He folded his arms and rolled away from his brother, staring hard at the glimmering pool and cursing himself for being so easily baited.

"All right, all right…" He felt a hand clap him on the shoulder. "I'm done."

"Shut up."

"Chill, Little Bro – I'm just giving you a hard boot, that's all. I'm done."

Enzo stared ahead for a few nanos, willing his voice to come out strong and assured. "You promise?"

"Yeah. Well, for now anyway. Peace?"

The boy sighed and rolled onto his back. "Yeah, whatever." He almost told his brother right then and there about his hazing experience at the Academy – and why he hated this particular brand of mockery so much. Almost – but not quite. Some things he would never repeat, to anybody. That would mean reliving them, and he did that often enough as it was.

"Good man. You about ready to get going?"

"I guess – I'm pretty much dry, except for my hair and that'll take a while."

"We'll walk a few more micros, then according to the map there should be a primitive campsite where we can set up the tent and have some dinner."

"You really worked this all out, huh?"

"You been in enough games you learn the importance of planning and preparation. Don't they teach you anything at that Academy?"

"Hey – what'd _I_ do? It's not like I was just gonna sleep under a rock!"

"Little monkey." Matrix ruffled his hair and stood. "Good call on the swim – that really hit the spot."

"Thanks, Matrix." Enzo smiled. Realizing the futility of further modesty at this stage, he dropped his towel next to his pack with a sigh and walked across to the boulder to retrieve his clothes.

Once his initial disgust at doing something so utterly pointless and juvenile had worn off, Matrix had to admit that swimming in that little pond had felt, well… g_ood_. The data had been cool and refreshing, but beyond that he felt as if it had washed more than his sweat away. He'd been surprised at Enzo's willingness to bare himself like that – if not at his impetuousness – but in hindsight, it seemed like an act of trust on the part of the little sprite. And that made Matrix feel good, too.

There was something else, too, that he didn't realize until after they were towel-dried, dressed and hiking down the trail in the deepening dusk. It made him feel good to see Enzo act silly, for all Matrix' instinctive exasperation at first. The boy was definitely a different sprite now than before he'd left home – quieter, more reflective. He was growing up, of course – living on his own, responsible for his own studies, spam – he even had a girlfriend. But Matrix knew what his brother had been through, and without realizing it he'd been saddened by the notion that the boy was growing up too much and too fast for his age.

As dusk grew into twilight they emerged from the trees into a broad clearing, tucked under a hillside, which loomed dark in front of them. Data trickled from the rock face into a cistern and small fire rings were scattered throughout the meadow. Enzo pulled up and glanced over his shoulder. "Is this it?"

"Yup." Matrix nodded. "Look - that's the spring over there, drinkable data. Lots of good flat ground for the tent, too."

"Good." Enzo dropped his pack and sat atop it wearily. "I'm low-res."

"Tired already, Little Man?"

"End file! That was a long cycle and you know it."

Matrix chuckled and good-naturedly punched the boy's shoulder. "Yeah – that a good cycle's work. We covered a lot of ground."

"Nice spot." Enzo smiled. "You wanna set up the tent while I make the fire?"

"You know how?"

"Of course I know how! I'm about to be a second-hour Guardian cadet!"

"Hey – don't bite my drive head off, just asking." The elder Matrix fetched the tent out of his pack and set off to find a flat area to pitch it. "If you need any help, just ask."

"You too." The younger spat back. Matrix found a good spot, close enough to the stream that it's burbling would be their companion for the night. As he set up the tent he surreptitiously watched Enzo out of the corner of his eye, but indeed the boy seemed to know what he was doing – Matrix nodded approvingly as he stacked small sticks into a pyramid and crumpled a few sheets of paper beneath it. Once lit, the paper quickly ignited the kindling and the scent of wood smoke began to fill the air. Enzo built a "log cabin" of larger branches atop the blaze, and it was soon crackling merrily as the teenager knelt on his haunches warming his hands.

"Good job, Kiddo." Matrix clapped the boy on the shoulder. 

"Thanks, Bro. Get the tent all set up?"

"NP."

"What d'you want for dinner? I got stroganoff noodles, Thai noodles in peanut sauce, and spaghetti with marinara sauce."

"What – no pizza?"

"Just pick one, smart-ASCII."

"Hmmm. How about noodles? Have any of those?"

"Log off!" Enzo groaned. "Spaghetti it is."

"Sounds great." Matrix stretched and sat on a log bench near the fire ring, relishing the ache of exertion in his muscles. It felt good to be dead tired at the close of a cycle of hard work. He watched Enzo as he prepared the dinner, boiling data in a small cookpot and expertly mixing in the dried noodles and sauce. The boy was deft and sure as he worked, as confident and assured with the food as he had been with the fire. "When did you get so grown up, anyway?"

"What?" Enzo looked up, his face lit by the glow of his fire, night having fully descended.

"Nothing, nothing. Food about ready?"

Enzo brought the spoon to his lips and tasted delicately. "Just about. This prefab food isn't very good…"

"You've had it before?"

The boy smiled sheepishly. "I made some at home, before we left. Sort of a test run."

Matrix chuckled. "I'm sure it's fine – I'm hungry enough to eat _your_ cooking and not complain."

"I'll hold you to that. Get some plates and forks, OK?"

"You got it." The bearded sprite fetched two disposable plates and forks out of Enzo's pack and the boy cheerfully dished out the pasta before setting the pot on a rock near the fire. The boy waited expectantly and Matrix realized what he was waiting for. He wrapped a mouthful of spaghetti around his fork and wolfed it down. "Mmmf. It's good."

"Really?"

"Yeah – not bad at all."

"Cool! I know the dried stuff kinda sucks, but it's easier out here…" The boy grinned and stared down at his plate for a nano, then starting shoveling the pasta into his mouth. "Mmmf."

"Slow down, Pal! It's dead – it won't run away."

"Hungry."

"Yeah, well – me too." Matrix smiled and ate his dinner, not savoring the taste so much as the act itself. It felt good to do something so simple – work hard until you were ravenous, then fill up with food. If only every-cycle life were that visual basic.

The brothers ate mostly in silence, content to stare at the brilliantly star-pocked sky and enjoy the glow of their campfire. When they were done Enzo gathered up the trash and bagged it, bringing another unseen nodding approval from his sibling. No point in trashing such a pristine place – it was good the kid understood stuff like that. "Don't forget to wash the pot."

"Why can't you do it? I made dinner!"

"He who dirties it, cleans it." Matrix yawned, stretching and putting his hands behind his head. "If you wait till morning you'll never get the gunk off."

"Nullhead." Enzo muttered, grabbing the pot and heading towards the spring.

"Don't go too far – stay where I can see you!"

"You're makin' breakfast!" the boy called back.

"We'll see." The big sprite reached down and tossed a few more large sticks onto the fire, which spat and sparked as it flared anew. After a milli or two Enzo reappeared, stashed the pot in his bag, ruffled through it and sat next to his brother on the log. "Good job."

"Thanks. Guess what else I brought?"

"What?"

"Marshmallows!" The boy pulled his hand from behind his back. "I always wanted to toast marshmallows and I never have."

Matrix reached for a pair of thin sticks. "Cool. I have, a couple of times – when we were out in the net, Andri and I. Lots of nights over campfires back then." He reached into his back pocket for his knife.

"Um… Yeah. What're you doin'?

"Scraping the bark off. See? Don't get any on the marshmallow that way, and it tastes better too. Wanna try?"

"Sure."

"Here you go."

"That's OK – I got the knife Bob gave me." 

"Scrape away from your body."

"I _know_." Enzo sighed.

"Careful." Matrix smiled as the boy copied him, scraping the bark off the stick with slow, careful strokes. "Good job."

"Hey – I'm a Guardian." Soon the sweet smell of roasting marshmallows joined the acrid smoke of their campfire and the piney tang of the trees around them. Enzo brought his sweet to his lips, blew on it gently, and grinned. "This is pretty alphanumeric, huh?"

"High-density. How's it taste?"

"Mmmf. Good. Wish I had some hot chocolate, though!"

"If Dot were here, she'd have remembered some."

"Yeah!" Enzo laughed. There was a rustle in the undergrowth, to their left. "What's that?"

"Shhh!" Matrix squinted into the dark and saw a movement near the bushes, a stone's throw from their campsite.

"What-"

"Shhh!" Matrix knelt down, close to his brother's ear. "Mule deer." He whispered. "Mother and her fawn, looks like. The wind's from behind 'em so they can't smell the smoke. Or us."

"Pixelacious!" Enzo gasped.

"They like to forage at dusk. I've seen a lot of them in rural systems like this one."

"She's big!" Enzo whispered. "They're not aggressive, are they?"

"No. It's the guys you have to worry about – they've got antlers, sometimes huge ones. And during rutting season they'll charge anything that moves."

"Rutting season? What's that?"

"Well… That's when they're… _In the mood_, you could say."

"Dude!" Enzo giggled. The doe looked up and started, then bolted off into the woods, her fawn close behind her. "Spammit – sorry!"

"NP. They don't see very well, but their smell and hearing is awesome." The bearded sprite exhaled deeply. "Well – that was pixelacious, huh?"

"Yeah." Enzo was still a bit wide-eyed. "That's the biggest animal I ever saw. Sorry I laughed and scared it off."

"Yeah, too bad. We could have eaten well for the rest of the trip."

"What? No way!"

"Yup, no more dried noodles, just sweet, fresh venison-"

"Dude – no! You were gonna _kill_ it? It had a baby!"

"Simmer down, Kid." Matrix chuckled. "I'm just messing with your processor."

"Spam…" Enzo scowled. "Matrix, why do you _do_ this shit to me?"

"Because it's fun. And you're always trying to get me to have fun, right? Besides – you're easy."

"Byte me."

"Language! I'll tell Dot." Enzo petulantly tossed another stick onto the fire, but Matrix could see the smile he was fighting down. "Little null."

"Shut up." The boy grinned and settled back, resting his own meager weight against his brother's bulk. "D'you suppose all big brothers are as mean as you?"

"I'm much nicer than I should be. If I wasn't, you'd be deleted ten times over."

"Hysterical." Matrix wrapped Enzo in a headlock and the boy wriggled free, laughing, before reclining again against his brother. 

"You cold?" Matrix asked.

"Nope – fine." The teenager sighed. He craned his neck back to look up at the stars and was silent for several nanos. "This is amazing, Matrix."

"Yeah – it's nice here. I'm not complaining."

"For a change." Enzo giggled. "It _is_ an amazing place – Mouse was right. But I mean it's amazing _being_ here. I love it. It feels like we're the only two sprites in the universe." The boy turned to Matrix. "I feel like that sometimes when we're together, even when we're at home surrounded by everybody. But here I _really_ feel it. You know what I mean?"

Matrix saw the fire glinting its reflection in his brother's eyes, and for the first time truly sensed the importance he held in the boy's life. He was the pioneer, the standard, the bar that was raised – Enzo would always judge his own life from his brother's shadow. It was a sobering thought. "I guess not, huh."

"It's not that - I was just thinking. Yeah, I know – I get what you're talking about. It's a little weird sometimes, so I don't think about it that much. But… It's good, too. We're lucky to have that."

"You mean that?" Enzo whispered.

"Yeah. It's hard sometimes, too – something else we have to worry about that other sprites don't. But I wouldn't trade, even it if I could. We're lucky."

"Yeah – me neither. I'm glad we have it." Matrix found the conversation leading him into areas he'd rather not venture, and began to feel distinctly uncomfortable. No one could do that to him like Enzo could. "What's wrong?"

"Huh?"

Enzo smiled weakly. "You got all tensed up."

"Nothing." Matrix smiled weakly in return and tweaked the boy's nose. "Tell me about the Academy, Kid."

"Huh? Why? I have!"

"Yeah, yeah. But what was it really _like_? We never really talked about that."

Enzo scratched his head and fidgeted absently. "I dunno. I mean – there were good things and bad things. I loved making friends and having a roommate, and learning all the games stuff. And taking care of myself. It's what I always wanted. But I still missed home… You know."

"Sure."

"It was better when Bob and Dot came for his class. And by the end, I was dealing with it OK. But it never got easy to not be home – you know? I missed everybody every single cycle."

"Sorry you went?"

The boy sighed deeply. "No. Sometimes. But not now that it's all over and I'm ready to go back soon." He smiled up at his brother. "It was easier when I came home and found out that everyone, you know… still _liked_ me. They didn't change or forget or anything."

"You didn't really think that would happen, did you?"

"When you went off in the games… After you were gone for a while, didn't _you_ worry that it would all be different when you got back?"

Looking into Enzo's eyes Matrix, in an uncomfortable flash, remembered all at once what it felt like to be thirteen. "Yeah." He shuddered slightly. "But the way things were when I left… I wasn't even sure there'd _be_ a Mainframe when I got back. And I thought everyone would hate me because I let them down."

"Man… I can't believe I feel sorry for myself when things were so much harder for you! I'm basic…"

"Stop it!" Matrix sighed. "I'm just saying – I know what you mean. That's _all_."

"K. Sorry."

"And how are your grades? Good, I hope?"

"Pretty good." Enzo shrugged.

"_Pretty _good - what's that mean? You know, if you slip up I'll be all over you like spam on a Hotmail account."

"Take it easy – Dad!" The boy scowled, then smiled slightly. "I'm doing OK – I got a couple of Cs the first quarter, but I did better once I got settled in. I got As in all my game classes and mostly Bs in my classroom stuff. If it wasn't so boring I could do even better…"

"Well – that sounds OK." Matrix nodded. "What about the stuff we talked about – when you called me. Did that get any better?"

Enzo blushed immediately and looked away. "Well?"

"You never told anyone about that, did you?" the teenager asked in a small voice.

"I promised I wouldn't and I didn't. I just want to know."

"Thanks." Enzo fidgeted again, which Matrix was learning was a surefire sign he was in uncomfortable territory. "Well, I… You know about the game. And all that."

"Yeah – it sounds pretty awful."

"Yeah. So after that those guys were expelled. So they couldn't bother me anymore."

"And everything was all right? No more problems with you being the smallest?"

The boy emitted a short laugh. "Well – I still _was_. Nothing like _that_ though, I guess. No one else was that psycho, and I think some sprites looked at me a little different after that game. Everyone pretty much knew what happened." He looked up. "_I _never forgot, though. Everyone was still bigger and older than me. I tried to forget about it but I never really could. That was probably the hardest thing about being there."

"Yeah – I bet." The pain in Enzo's face sparked a flare of anger in Matrix, anger at his sister for letting Enzo leave home so young after… after _everything_. 

"I guess I still _will _be the youngest when I go back."

"Why don't you stay, then?"

"What?" Enzo frowned, puzzled.

"Why not stay in Mainframe? You proved your point – you went to the Academy and you survived the first hour even though you were only thirteen. You don't have to prove anything to anybody. To _me._" Matrix stared hard at his brother. "Maybe it's time for you to stay home and grow up a little."

"No! I don't wanna do that – I'm not a quitter."

"I never said you _were_, Kid."

"Matrix, I… I can't. I knew it would be hard, but I really want to _do_ it. I wanna be a Guardian more now than I ever did before. Laser, all those guys – they're giving their whole lives to try and save the Collective. I never wanted to do anything else, and I still don't. Don't you understand?"

He saw the intensity of purpose in his brother's eyes. He knew the boy would never be as sure of anything in his life when he was older – not like he was now. Life changed you. Was it his place to help bring those changes, when they'd happen soon enough anyway? "Matrix – _you_ understand, right?"

"Yeah." The big sprite sighed. "I understand, Enzo. You have to go back and finish what you started." 

"Yeah." Enzo smiled. Matrix felt the small body relax against him. "You understand."

"Besides – you can't just leave your _girlfriend_, right?"

"Oh man – don't _you_ start with that! I get a never ending supply of it from Dot!"

"She freaked out when you told her, huh?"

"I never even had to." Enzo groaned. "She saw it in my face, or something… She guessed. She's always doing that to me. Talk about being freaked out!"

"Yeah – that's Dot all right. I could never keep any secrets from her."

"Yeah." The teenager nodded. "But she doesn't know everything."

Matrix stared at his brother for a nano. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Nothing." The boy blushed. "I'm just… not a little kid anymore, OK? There's some stuff I don't talk about with Dot. And she still thinks I _am_ a little kid, so she doesn't get inside my brain and find out herself."

"What kind of stuff, Enzo?"

"Stuff."

"Huh." Matrix stared again, but it was clear no more information was forthcoming on it's own. He was uncomfortable again – there were things better never discussed, and Enzo was always dancing on the edge of his boundaries. But better to be discussing Enzo than have the boy ask _him_ questions he didn't want to answer. "So – what's she like, anyway?"

Enzo looked up in surprise. "What?"

"What's she like – your girlfriend?"

"You're just gonna make fun of me again-"

"No!" the big sprite laughed. "I'm just curious, that's all – what kind of girl could turn your head that fast?"

Enzo stared suspiciously at him for a moment, then his expression softened. "She's pixelacious, Matrix. I've never known anyone like her in my life."

"You really like her, huh?"

"I love her." The boy replied, matter-of-factly.

"You _love_ her?"

"Totally. She's incredible." A smile. "And she loves me, too. She told me."

Matrix found himself a little taken aback. He'd half-expected Enzo to have forgotten this girl already – but his brother's tone wasn't reflective of the schoolboy crush he'd anticipated. "Really?"

"Yeah. Lots of times. And I tell her, too." Enzo shrugged. "Lisa's amazing. She has teal skin and gold hair and I knew the first nano I saw her that I loved her. She smiled at me, right away – I was so nervous you wouldn't believe it! I could barely walk or talk." The teenager blushed at the memory. "But she never made me feel dumb or clumsy – she was totally nice to me, right from the beginning. She wasn't like anybody else at the Academy. I love her."

"Wow." 

"I did some really stupid stuff, too. Just… dumb. And I made a mistake and I was sure it'd make her hate me… But she didn't! She forgave me, just like that. And we survived that game, and Zip and Calisto… And when it was over we loved each other even more than before. She's amazing."

"Sounds like it." Matrix smiled. He started to make a cautionary statement about how young Enzo was, but realized before he even said it the futility of the notion – the kid wouldn't want to hear it. He was sure of himself as only a kid could be – and who was Matrix to tell him he was wrong? He'd loved AndrAIa when they were kids, too. "Hang onto her, Pal. She sounds pretty special."

Enzo grinned up at him. "I will, don't worry. I'll never let her go." The boy stared into the fire and went silent for a few millis, leaving Matrix to his thoughts. Finally the older brother felt his sibling tense against him, and saw a blush on his cheeks. "Enzo, can I… Can I ask you something?"

__

Uh oh! Here it comes. Spam…What now? "Uh… Kid-" 

"Please?"

Matrix sighed. "Sure, Enzo. What is it?"

The boy stared into the fire again, squirming nervously. "I… I just wanted to know…"

"What? What is it?"

Enzo squeezed his eyes shut. "Spammit! Never mind…"

"Enzo! Just spit it out." _Get it over with._ "What is it?"

The teenager didn't open his eyes. "Well… How old… How old were you and AndrAIa when… when…"

"Crash. Enzo-"

"How old were you when you first… d_id_ it. You know. Swapped codes."

Matrix' jaw dropped. "That's none of your business, Sprout."

Enzo winced. "I'm sorry, I just… I was curious. 'Cause-"

"Older than you. Okay? That isn't something we should be talking about. It isn't something you should even be _thinking_ about." He stood, walked over to his pack and began to unstrap his docking bag, trying hard to bite down the familiar bile of irritation in his throat. "It's late – we should go to bed. Go brush your teeth by the spring and if you have to pee, do it as far away from the stream as possible."

"OK." Enzo's forlorn voice came back.

"And stay where I can see you!" Shaking his head, Matrix tossed his docking bag into the tent and went back for his brother's.

Enzo wondered where things had gone wrong. Things had seemed to be going so well, but the boy knew from hard experience that with Matrix, that could turn at the drop of a bit. He'd felt so close to his brother there, for a nano – like there was nothing they couldn't talk about. He'd wanted more than anything to talk to _someone_ about the things he could never talk about with _anyone_ – but, as usual, he hadn't known when to shut up and the evening had gone straight to Dell, just like that.

By the time he'd brushed his teeth and emptied his bladder Matrix was already inside the tent, the flicker of a lantern visible through the translucent fabric. Enzo carefully kicked dirt over the fire until nary a spark was visible. He grabbed a readme out of his pack and unzipped the mesh doorway. Matrix was lying silently in his bag, hands behind his head. Enzo ducked inside and reached for the zipper. "Bring your pack inside."

"Huh? Why?"

"You got food in there, right? There may not be any large predators here, but I guarantee you something will get at it if you leave it outside."

"Sorry." The boy mumbled. He retrieved his pack and tossed it inside ahead of him, setting it at the foot of his docking pad. Eyeing Matrix warily he crawled inside, zipped up, and took off his sweatshirt to use as a pillow. Matrix continued to stare upwards, silently. 

Not feeling like reading, Enzo tried closing his eyes but it was obvious sleep wasn't coming anytime soon, and his brother gave no indication of deleting the lantern. Finally the boy rolled onto his side and stared at the big sprite. "Are you mad at me because of what I asked?"

Matrix was silent for a few nanos, then sighed. "No. I'm not mad."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Don't get offline about it." The big sprite rolled to face him. "Enzo, I'm going to ask _you_ a question and I want you to be honest."

"What?" Enzo gulped, feeling his stomach doing a turn. 

"Have you swapped codes with Lisa? Is that why you asked?"

He gasped, utterly taken aback by the question. "What? No! Are you kidding?" _I wish…_

"You swear?"

"Of course! That's stupid!"

Matrix breathed deeply. "Thank the User. I was _not_ looking forward to that conversation with Dot."

"Wait - you'd _tell_ on me?"

"I thought there was nothing to tell."

"There isn't!"

Matrix smiled grimly. "I don't know if I would have told her – but I'm happy not to have to deal with _that_ either. You had me pretty worried."

"Yeah well… Sorry." Enzo scowled. He rolled onto his stomach and rested his chin on his arms. "I'm sorry I asked you that, Matrix. It's just… I have _questions_, you know? There's no much stuff I want to _know_ and there's no one to talk about it with! No one wants to know I'm even thinking about this stuff…"

"I thought Bob had a talk with you before you went to the Academy."

"He did." The youth sighed. "And he did tell me _some_ stuff. And he did his best but you know Bob… And I didn't know Lisa then and I… I didn't really know the right questions to ask." He buried his face in his hands, torn between the urge to share his feelings and an overwhelming embarrassment to even be talking about this sort of thing. "Sorry."

Matrix sighed deeply. "Fifteen."

Enzo looked up. "What?"

Matrix was lying back, arm over his forehead. The teenager was glad his brother wasn't looking in his direction – that would have made the awkwardness unbearable. "Fifteen. Almost sixteen. And I don't know how old AndrAIa was – _she_ never really knew how old she was. We think she's about my age, chronologically – but no one knows exactly."

"F-Fifteen?"

"Yeah. And it could have been a disaster, Enzo – we had no clue about any of the risks in what we were doing. We just knew we loved each other and we… Well… We wanted to. And we were lonely. _I_ was lonely."

Enzo was fascinated, almost as much as he was shocked to even be hearing what he was. He felt numb, all over, but couldn't turn away. "What happened?"

"What do you mean?" Matrix laughed darkly. "_It _happened. We were alone together almost all the time, and one thing led to another. And _another_. And finally… we were together. Thank the User we met a good-hearted sprite, a SysOp, in one of the systems we game-hopped… He felt sorry for us, I think. Told us why what we doing was dangerous, and what we needed to do to be careful. And that's what happened."

"Wow." The boy whispered. There was silence in the tent for several nanos. "Is… Is that the right age, do you think?"

"What?"

"You know… To-"

"Oh, Enzo – I don't have a deleted clue! I just know we weren't ready for it. We were just two kids running around the net trying to stay alive. Why would you want to ask _me_?"

"Who _else_ can I ask?" And Enzo knew as he asked it that it was true – if he couldn't talk to Matrix about his deepest feelings, he couldn't talk to anyone, and that was a terrible thought. "I'm sorry – I just think about this. A lot."

"You do?"

"Yeah! I mean – I just love Lisa so much, you know? And I love being with her more than anything and, you know… Kissing her and all that. But when I'm with her I just… I can't describe it! She's so beautiful..."

"Kid-"

"And when I'm not with her… I don't know which is worse. When I'm not with her I _want_ to be with her, and when I'm with her it drives me offline! Why do I feel like this, Matrix?"

Enzo knew his brother was looking at him, now, but he couldn't bring himself to return the favor. "It's nothing _wrong_, Enzo. It's just… You're a guy, and you're a teenager, and you're in love. It's not easy sometimes."

"It's spamming _impossible_." The boy spat. It was inconceivable to be admitting this to anyone, even Matrix, but it was as through a flood had started and he was powerless to stop it. "I want to be with her so much… but I know everyone thinks we're too young." He looked up, finally, in spite of himself. "_Are _we?"

"Yeah." Matrix nodded, not unsympathetically. "You definitely are."

"Shit!" Enzo buried his face in his arms again. "It's not fair. How come I'm… Spammit, why is it that I'm old enough to _want_ it so much, but I'm still too young to _do_ it? It's not fair."

"No – I guess it isn't." There was a big hand on his shoulder, softly. "But life isn't fair a lot of the time. _Most_ of the time, in my experience. Maybe it's better you learn that young."

"I think it sucks."

"Sorry, Pal. You really _are_ growing up, aren't you? It's like it happened in a cycle and I didn't even notice."

Enzo lifted his head and saw his brother staring at him, a sad smile on his face. "When will I be old enough, Enzo?"

"You'll know."

"Spam! What kind of answer is that?"

"The only one I know." Matrix shrugged. "There's more to it than just swapping codes, Enzo. When you do that, everything else changes. There's a lot of stuff you just wouldn't be ready to deal with for a while. You and Lisa would end up regretting it – it'd probably break you up."

"Really?" the boy whispered. "I'm almost fourteen… And she'll be sixteen in the middle of the school hour."

"Too young, Kid." His brother smiled. "If you guys really love each other you can wait until you're both ready. The emotional stuff gets pretty intense – if you're not ready to commit yourself to each other it's cruel to do anything. She'll be there when you're ready."  


"I don't really understand." Enzo sighed, and knew in his heart that he _didn't_. "I guess I really am too young." Matrix clapped his shoulder. "I just wish I was too young to _care_ about it. It'd be a lot easier."

"Yeah – I guess it would. But once you're old enough, you can't go back. Sorry."

"Spammit." Enzo half-smiled. 

Matrix coughed and started to blush. "Uh – you do know that there are, well… There are other things you can- I mean – Bob did talk with you about that sort of thing?"

"Yeah. Shut up, OK? I don't wanna talk about that."

"K." Matrix nodded, chuckled awkwardly. "Just checking."

Enzo rolled onto his back and stared wistfully at the roof of the tent, hands behind his head. "What's it feel like, Matrix? Swapping codes?"

"Crash, Enzo – come on!"

"I just wanna know, OK? What's it like?" He knew he was blushing as furiously as Matrix now but once again, his curiosity out muscled his embarrassment. "Please tell me!"

His brother scowled, fell back to the floor of the tent with a thud. "I don't… Spam!" He propped himself on his elbow. "Who's your favorite band, Enzo?"

"What?!"

"A band. Who do you like to listen to?"

"What's that have to do with-"

"Just answer me."

Enzo shook his head and scowled, utterly flummoxed. "I dunno… I like Squeeze, The Pillows - Linux played them for me… And The Beatles are incredible."

Matrix smiled. "What's it like to listen to your favorite Beatles' song?"

"What?"

"You heard me."

The boy stared skyward, trying to think of "Here Comes the Sun" or "In My Life." "I don't know. It's great – I just love the sound, the way it makes me feel… You know?"

"_How _does it make you feel?"

Enzo felt his irritation rising. "I don't know! Good, OK? I like it. That's all I can tell you!"

"Well…" Matrix smiled. "That's all _I_ can tell _you_. Imagine the most amazing feeling you could ever dream of – in your body, in your heart, in your processor. It's like every part of you is filled up with the feeling until it's like you're going to explode. I can't describe it any more than that – it is what it is. Some things just can't be put into words. You'll understand soon enough."

"Better than The Beatles?"

Matrix chuckled. "Better than the Beatles. Not even close."

Enzo sighed. "Is it better than- Better than… You know."

"Better than what?"

The boy groaned. "You _know_! Better than _that_." Curiosity be damned, there was only so much embarrassment he could take.

"_What_?"

"Spammit – you _know_ what, Nullhead! _Please_ don't make me say it!"

Matrix chuckled again, and Enzo had the sinking sensation his brother had gotten the reaction he was waiting for. There were times he wished Matrix had more of a sense of humor, but sometimes he wished he had none at all. "Yes, Enzo. It's way better than that – no contest."

"Spam. I don't want to wait! Life sucks."

"Yeah, well – you asked. And while you're feeling sorry for yourself, try thinking about what it's like to have to work for a living and support a family, instead of them supporting _you_ while you learn and play games."

"Yeah, I know. I know." Enzo sighed. Adults always talked about how great it was to be a kid, but he had a sneaking suspicion most of them wouldn't want to be in his sneakers, given the chance. "Enzo, can I ask you one more question?"

"What is it?" his brother asked warily.

"When you… When you swap codes with a girl. Does it hurt? The girl, I mean?"

"What?"

The boy finally turned to his brother. "It just seems like… like it'd hurt. I wouldn't want to hurt Lisa, you know?"

Matrix smiled. "Enzo… If it did, girls wouldn't want to do it, would they?"

"I guess not."

"The first time a girl does it, it hurts her a little. But just the first time – after that, as long as the guy is gentle, it's just as great for her as it is for him. Don't worry."

"Really?"

"Yeah. And you know what? That's the best part – why it's so much better than anything else. When you know you're making her feel as pixelacious as she's making you feel, that makes it more incredible than you can imagine. It's the best."

"That's awesome." Enzo grinned. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." Matrix reached out and tousled his hair. "Now I'm about ready to shut down. Lights out, Kid."

"K." Enzo lay back as Matrix doused the lantern and the interior of the tent was plunged into darkness. "Matrix?"

"What?"

"Can I ask you something else?"

His brother moaned. "You said that was your last question!"

"I lied – but this is the last one, I promise."

"All right. What is it?"

Enzo was glad it was dark, and he couldn't see his code twin's face. "The first time – is it really scary?"

Matrix was silent for a long moment. "Yes." _Was he trying to think of a way not to say that?_

Enzo's heart jumped a little, just thinking about it. "Were you more scared than the first time you were in a game by yourself?"

"Yes. I can't lie to you – I was terrified, and you probably will be too. It's not easy, that first time – but just remember, she's just as scared as you are and you're going through it together. That's why it's so important to be with someone who cares about you, understand?"

"Yeah. I think so." Enzo whispered, and he sort of thought he _did_. "Thanks for talking about all this stuff with me, Big Brother. I… Thanks."

"You're welcome. Now go to _sleep_, all right?"

"OK. Night."

"Night."

Enzo lay in the dark, listening to his brother's slow, deep, even breathing. The data stream was burbling close to their tent, and the noise of crickets and frogs could be heard faintly in the night. All in all it was more than a little soothing, and the boy soon found himself drifting towards sleep. It was the first time he and his brother had ever slept in the same room, he realized – well, tent anyway. That was odd, since they were twins and all. And they _were_ twins – he knew he was more like Matrix than he'd ever admit to himself – and so his brother was more like _him_. It was a strange thought – comforting and scary at the same time.

The boy felt a stab of guilt. "Matrix?"

"Sleep." The voice was gruff and a little annoyed.

"I peeked at you. While we were swimming."

"I know." Now it was tinged with amusement.

"You _do_?"

"Of course, Kid - I'm not blind. Besides, that data was clear as glass. A little sneak preview, huh?"

"Oh." Enzo whispered, glad now that Matrix couldn't see _his_ face. "Well – sorry. I know it was stupid-"

"Don't worry about it." His brother yawned. "I would have done the same thing, I'm sure. It's no big file."

"Really? You're not mad?"

"Not about _that_. But if you don't let me go to sleep-"

The boy smiled. "OK, OK! Sorry. Good night."

"Night. Again."

"Night." Enzo closed his eyes again. He lay still for a moment, then felt himself blushing again in the dark. "Matrix?"

"Oh, Crash! Enzo-"

"That data was really cold, y'know. _Really _cold." Silence hung in the air for a nano. "You know?"

Matrix either coughed or chuckled briefly, Enzo wasn't sure which. "I know. Now go to sleep."

"OK." The boy sighed. Before he had a chance to think of any more questions, he was soundly asleep.


	3. Into Thin Air

ACT NATURALLY 

**CHAPTER III**

Matrix knew it had been just a cycle since they'd arrived on Muir – hit internal clock told him so.  But that indisputable fact aside, it seemed like it had been much, much longer.  It wasn't that the big sprite wasn't enjoying himself – it was liberating to be out traveling again, with the important difference that he wasn't lost in the net this time.  Muir was a profoundly pleasant place – green and mild and visually stunning.  He was even enjoying his brother's company – Enzo's exuberance could be a bit much at times, but the long, reflective silences on the trail – punctuated by frank, open conversation – were easy and relaxed between them.  He'd even enjoyed the skinny-dipping, on reflection.

No, what made the brief passage of time so remarkable was simple – it was extraordinary that his perception of the boy could change so much in so little time.  It wasn't that he didn't know his brother was growing up – of course he knew it, and Enzo's prolonged absences at the Academy made his incremental gains in height and bulk that much more obvious when Matrix did see him.  But he'd still just been Little Enzo – the annoying, exhausting, endearing and innocent shadow of his past.

But no more – the last cycle had profoundly changed the way Matrix thought about his brother.  His quiet competence in camping skills, his pride of accomplishment, his willingness to simply observe and not speak – they were all surprising signs of maturity the older brother hadn't expected.  But more than anything else it was the nature of Enzo's questions that had forever altered Matrix' perception.  He'd had no idea the boy was wrestling with such wrenching and adult frustrations – he was a fully formed individual now, not just a static .JPEG of a past Matrix would rather not have remembered.  It was more than a little unsettling, but it also filled him with a sense of pride that surprised him almost as much as Enzo's emotional growth.

The second cycle of the trip had been a relaxing, pleasant breeze – the trail looped to the west and met up with the spur that would eventually loop them back towards their starting point and rendezvous with Bob.  The new trail hugged the foothills, occasionally dipping into small valleys and climbing out again, but mostly relatively flat and pleasant.  The mountains were their constant companion on their left, and they crossed numerous streams, some complete with spectacular datafalls.  Enzo had no trouble keeping up a good pace – Matrix never felt egregiously stifled in his tempo, and despite an occasional good-tempered whine Enzo soldiered along in strong spirit.  Clearly the boy's physical conditioning had matured along with his outlook.

On the second night they'd swapped jobs, and Enzo had pitched the tent and gathered data while Matrix built the fire and cooked dinner.  The simplicity of camp life was soothing, and Matrix enjoyed the particular freedom the wilderness afforded him – they walked, they drank, they built their fire and ate, and they slept.  Absent the ache of a lost home and the guilt of a sister abandoned it was an especially appealing existence, and the big sprite enjoyed sharing it with the brother who seemed to be morphing into a young man before his eyes.

As the third cycle dawned, Matrix knew that a reunion with Bob and a trip home awaited them at the end of a long cycle's hiking.  To his surprise he felt himself saddened by the prospect – something that would have been unthinkable before they'd departed.  They breakfasted on energy bars and bad java, broke camp and rejoined the trail.  The two sprites hiked side by side now, sharing occasional smiles and comments about what they saw, but speaking little as they walked.

Lunch was canned stew and energy shake pouches, eaten on a large, flat boulder on the edge of the widest and deepest river they'd seen on their trip.  Once the stew was finished Enzo dug into his bag and produced, with a flourish, a huge slab of chocolate cake.  "Hey – what's this?"

"Surprise!"  Enzo grinned.  "I wanted to save it for the last cycle, so we'd have something special.  Dot baked it the night before we left."

"Good work."  The boy broke the wedge of cake in half and handed a piece to his brother.  "Makes a nice change from energy bars and dried noodles."

"Thanks, _Aniki_."

"_Aniki_?  What's that?"

"It's Japanese." The teenager replied, blushing a little.  "It means, sorta, _big brother _and_ teacher _rolled into one.  I heard it on an _anime _MPEG I watch sometimes."  He looked up.  "Is it OK?"

Matrix smiled.  He felt oddly flattered – and who knew the boy watched _anime, _for that matter?  "Sure, Enzo.  If you want."

"Cool."

They ate in silence for a few millis.  "Hope you brought napkins – you need one."

"Shut up!" Enzo laughed, wiping his mouth on a sleeve.  "Like _you_ can eat cake without a fork and not make a mess."

"See any on _my_ face, Kid?"

"It's hidden in your beard."

"You wish."

"What I wish is that we had some milk."

"I wouldn't want milk that's been in your pack for three cycles."  They finished the dessert, staring out over the river rushing by them in its rush to surrender itself to a data sea somewhere far away.  

"Pretty good trip, huh?"

Matrix turned his attention back to his brother.  "Having fun?"

"Yeah." The boy nodded.  "You?"

"Yeah.  Not bad at all, Kid.  Been through a lot worse.  Looking forward to getting home?"

"I guess." Enzo sighed.  "I kinda wish we were staying longer, though.  I like it here."

"Yeah.  Me too."

"Really?"

"Don't act so surprised, Enzo!  Did you think I was having a terrible time?"

"No, I just…  When we first got here, I wasn't sure if you really wanted to come or you were just doing it for me."

"That's not my style, is it?"

The boy smiled.  "I guess not.  You're much too selfish."

"Whatever."  Matrix swung playfully at his brother, who ducked out of the way.  "So – how's the guitar coming?  You still play?"  
  


"The guitar?"  Enzo seemed surprised by the sudden turn in the conversation.  "Yeah – I don't practice as much as I should when I'm at school, though.  Bob's been giving me lessons this summer."

"That's good."

"I tried to write a song.  You know – for Lisa." The boy blushed.  "But that didn't work out too well…"

Matrix chuckled.  "Well – keep at it.  I never found writing very easy, so I guess you don't either."

"Guess not.  Songs, anyway.  What about you, Matrix – d'you ever play?"

"The guitar?" he spat, a trifle harshly.    "No.  I won't even look at that thing."

"Yeah." Enzo whispered.  "You could get a different one though, couldn't you?"

"What's the point?  I don't have the time, and I'm no good for learning stuff like that at my age.  You'll have to be good enough for both of us."

"More pressure." His brother sighed.  

"You can handle it."  Matrix winked.  "I know it's not easy trying to live up to my glorious standard."

"Yeah.  You're adored."  

"Don't be a smart-guy."  Matrix took another playful swipe at the teenager.  "Seriously – you know you don't have to try and please everybody or be like me, right?  Just do your own thing and don't worry about that stuff."

"I know." Enzo nodded, but it didn't look to Matrix as if he believed it.  He stared at his brother for a few nanos, struck again by how familiar and unfamiliar the face looked.  When the boy looked inside and saw his own fears there, the visage became that much more familiar to his older brother.  "What're you thinking?"

"Huh?"

"You were looking at me." Enzo said.

"Nothing…  Just thinking about how much you've changed.  It's like you're growing up overnight and I didn't even notice."

"You said that the other night."

"Did I?" Matrix smiled.  "Well, it's true.  I didn't realize you were serious into girls and worrying about the future and all that…  Not to mention how much stronger you are, and better at taking care of yourself.  I guess I haven't been spending enough time with you to notice."   He sighed.  "Maybe I haven't been spending enough time with you, period."

"Really?"

"Yeah.  You're my brother, y'know?"

"Yeah." Enzo nodded, blushing.  "I like doing stuff with you.  We should do it more."

"Yeah."

"You've changed _too_, y'know.  A lot."

"What?"  Matrix searched for mockery in his brother's face, but none was present.  "What do you mean?"

Enzo grinned.  "You really don't know?  You're, like, a totally different sprite from when we- well – when we _met_, I guess."

"Different how?"

"Besides you hating me then, you mean?"

Matrix recoiled, then scowled.  "Codeswap you."

"Sorry." His brother mumbled.  "That was mean – and it wasn't what I meant, anyways."

"Well – what, then?"

The boy shrugged.  "I don't know how to say it, but it's totally obvious!  You're more…  You're more _OK, _now – y'know?  You don't get mad at everything and everybody and wish everything was different all the time.  You're cool with stuff as it is – well, most of the time."

"I am?"

"Sure!  And you're a lot easier to talk to.  You actually answer sometimes, now!  And you don't get mad and yell as much, either.  You're just cooler, all-around."

"Thanks.  I guess…"  

"Welcome.  And you're different, you know… with _me_.  Than you used to be.  A lot different."

Matrix felt a stab of regret at the implications of that statement, even as he knew its veracity.  "Yeah – I guess I did know that one."

Enzo smiled weakly.  "I know you used to-"

"Don't say it!"

"I wasn't!  I was just gonna say you used to not like being around me very much.  I know you felt uncomfortable sometimes when I was around, and I know it was hard for you to talk to me."

"Well – it was kinda hard for me to talk to everybody then.  Still is, sometimes."

"Yeah." The boy sighed.  "But I know it was always different with me, because of everything with, you know, _us_.  I always wanted to talk to _you_, though.  I always wanted to know everything you could tell me, but you didn't want to tell me stuff very often."

Matrix stared out over the data in silence for a moment.  "I'm sorry, Enzo. I know I wasn't always a great brother."

"It's totally cool." The youth replied.  "I get it, Matrix – I know why it's so hard for you, with me.  It's no big file."

"It's a pretty big file, Kid."

"Well…  Maybe."  Matrix felt a small but firm squeeze on his arm.  "But it's a lot better now – y'know?  Like now, this trip.  And even when it was hard, I never though you didn't-  I mean, I always knew you…"

"Yeah."  The big sprite looked at his brother.  "You know it."

"Yeah." Enzo smiled.  "So see?  You changed a lot, too.  We both changed.  But we're cool now so it's all good, right?"

"Yeah!" Matrix laughed, marveling not for the first time at his twin's remarkable reserves of empathy.  "It's all good, Little Brother."

"It's good when things change sometimes.  Don't you think?"  Enzo picked up a pebble and tossed it into the river.  "Sometimes you think changes are bad, and you wish they'd never happened.  But then after a while, you realize that maybe you were being selfish, and they weren't bad changes after all."

"Like what, Enzo?"

"Dunno."  Another pebble splashed into the data.  "When Mac was born, even though I knew Bob and Dot were really happy, sometimes I wasn't.    Sometimes I even wished it had never happened."

"Really?"

The boy nodded wordlessly and stared at the rushing data.  "I was totally sure Dot wasn't gonna love me as much any more, now that she had Mac.  And I knew it even more, because Mac was her son and I'm not."

Matrix found himself surprised at the admission, almost instantly realizing how _unsurprising_ it was.  How easy it would have been to talk with Enzo then – to help him deal with the shattering of the world he knew.  Bob and Dot had been busy, heads swimming as they tried to adapt to parenthood – Matrix had all the time in the world.  But he hadn't – it just hadn't occurred to him.  "I don't…  She'd never do that."

"I know.  But I didn't know _then_.  I…  I don't even think I wanted Mac as a nephew or anything, at first.  Even though I could see how happy Sis was."

Matrix sighed and patted his brother's back awkwardly.  "That was natural, Kid – anyone would have felt the same way in your shoes.  You just needed time to get used to the idea, you know?"

The boy nodded.  "But it's like, things are a certain way, and you have certain sprites around and you _like_ it, you know?  And then a new person comes in and it sort of randomizes everything and that makes everything seem _wrong_ at first, and you blame the new person, even if they're only a little kid."  He looked up.  "But then, you realize that it isn't bad the new way, it's just different.  And it can even be really good to have a new sprite around.  You know?"

Matrix stared down at his brother, trying to read his eyes for the thrust behind his words, but the boy's gaze revealed nothing.  "Yeah.  It definitely can be, once you get used to it."  He turned his eyes back out to the river and the hills beyond. 

"Cool."

"Well - I can tell you this much, you definitely don't have to worry about Dot.   She worries about you all the time when you're away – it never stops.  That'll never change."

"I know." Enzo said softly.  "Now."

"What you have with Dot – I'll never have that, you know.  I was gone too long, and I came back too different.  She's still my sister, but it'll never be like it was."

"Don't say that!" the boy scolded.

"Don't kid yourself, Enzo.  I've accepted all this for a long time, now – I came back from the games a different sprite than I was before.  I know things could never be like they were.  I just had to try and make the best of it and have a new life."

"Well – maybe." Enzo replied dubiously.  "I know you were gone a long time.  But you shouldn't say that about Dot – she still cares about you and worries about you and everything else."

"I know." Matrix smiled at his brother.  "It's OK, Enzo – like I said, I accepted all this a long time ago.  Dot didn't know how to deal with a grown-up brother – she needed time to adjust, too.  We're fine now – it's just different than it is with you.  Like you said, different isn't always a bad thing."

"I guess." The boy sighed.  He took a long swig out of his data bottle and wiped his mouth.  "I know Dot still loves me, and I know that's why she still wants to take care of me.  But sometimes…"

"What?"

"Sometimes I wish she wasn't so… _there_.  I get really sick of everybody taking care of me and worrying about me.  Bob does it, too – even _you_ do it."

"I do not!"

"You do too, Matrix." Enzo frowned.  "Like when you told me to stay where you could see me, when I went to piss?"

Matrix blushed.  "Yeah – but I mean – there are wild animals and everything and I didn't want you to wander off and get lost-"

"See?  Even at school – Mouse and Ray and Laser, they all do it.  I know they worry about me and they wouldn't do it if they didn't like me and I appreciate it, I really do.  But sometimes I just want to take care of _myself_."  

"Kid-"

"I'm _fourteen_, Enzo!  Almost…" the teenager growled plaintively.  "I live on my own in a dorm and I've survived games on my own – do you really think I'm gonna get lost at a campsite?"

"No – I don't.  I was just worried about…  I don't know, whatever.  I was worried."

"Yeah." The boy spat.  "Maybe if I didn't look like a ten-hour old everyone wouldn't worry about me so much!"

"Stop that!" his brother sighed.  "You don't look ten – you're just small for your age, that's all.  And probably not even _that_ – those kids are all older than you are."

"But look at _you_.  Why am I still like this and you're like that?  If I _grew_ a little faster maybe everyone would stop treating me like a little kid!"

Matrix searched for the words to soothe his brother, but none came.  It was as hard to vocalize the boy's frustrations now as it had been then, when _he_ was the boy.  And he hadn't had to deal with a living, breathing version of his adult self every cycle.  He cuffed his brother's neck helplessly.  "It'll come, Enzo.  Just be patient."

"I'm tired of being patient.  That's the only answer I ever hear – be patient."

"You know, maybe you should be grateful you _have_ sprites to care about you instead of bitching about it.  Not everyone does."

"I know, I know!  You said that before."  Another splash on the data.  "I'm just an ungrateful little null, right?"

"Did I _say_ that?"

"No." Enzo sighed.  "Sorry.  I feel like I am sometimes, when I get this way."

Matrix left his hand on his brother's neck.  "Just keep proving yourself, Enzo.  Like you have been.  Being tall and strong isn't everything, and you'll _be_ those things soon enough anyway.  Do the best with what you have and you'll do fine.  Remember your strengths – if you're not big and strong enough, be smart enough."

"K.  I'll try."

"And as far as Dot goes…  She'll never stop wanting to take care of you because you'll always be her kid, at least in the back of her processor.  Don't waste any time wanting that to change – it won't.  Just accept it and cut her some slack – she only does it 'cause she cares so much."

"I know.  I was worried she _wouldn't_ care as much, and now sometimes I wish she _didn't_.  Does that make me a bad sprite?"

"'Course not.  It just makes you a teenager."

"Stop!" the boy laughed.  "I'm serious, Enzo!"

"So am I!  I didn't exactly have a normal childhood, you know?  But I'm pretty sure this stuff is normal.  Just don't let it drive you offline."

"I'll try.  Thanks."

"NP.  Speaking of normal childhoods, how's your social life?  You have any friends at that Academy?"

"Sure I do." The boy smiled.

"Really?"

"Don't sound so surprised!  Thanks a _lot_."

"I'm not!  I'm just glad to hear it, that's all.  I know how worried you were about dealing with other kids and all that."

"Yeah, well – I guess I was.  Especially older ones.  It wasn't easy at first, but I'm doing all right."

"You have a group you hang with?"  Matrix grinned.  "Have you got your own posse?"

"Stop!" Enzo blushed.  "Nothing like that.  I'm not really friends with all _that_ many kids.  A lot of them kinda looked at me funny because I knew Bob and Mouse and Laser, and most of the second-hours wouldn't be caught dead hanging with a sprout.  But-"

"Sprout?"

"Yeah, uh…  That's what the seconds called us.  _Them_ now, I guess…"

"Now I know why you made me stop calling you that!"

"Yeah." Enzo shrugged.  "So like I said, it was kind of weird with a lot of the kids at first.  But Linux is totally cool – he's my roommate.  And Lisa, and there's another girl named Patch who's kind of dating Linux, and the four of us do something pretty much every minute-end.  We go to Quicktimes and have pizza, and we hang out at Starbauds.  It's pretty cool."

Matrix found himself deeply touched to hear his brother talk so casually about something so _normal_ – something he knew, from experience, meant a huge file to the boy.  "That's alphanumeric, Enzo.  I never got to have that when I was a kid – it's awesome that you do."

"Thanks _Aniki_.  It _is_ pretty cool – I couldn't imagine myself doing stuff like that with guys my own age, y'know?  And now I just _do_ it.  It rocks."

"Yeah.  Sorry I said what I did about you coming home from the Academy, OK?  I wasn't giving you your due."

"It's cool.  You about ready to go?"

"Yeah."  Matrix checked his internal clock.  "Got a long way to go today, so I guess we better."

The boy lithely sprung down off the boulder and slipped his pack back on.  "Think you can keep up, Old Man?  I'm gonna be setting a pretty fast pace."

"I'll manage, Shortstop.  I could lap you if I had two broken legs."

"We'll see how big you talk in a few micros." Enzo grinned over his shoulder, striding on down the trail.  Matrix shouldered his pack and fell in behind him, measuring his pace to the boy's brisk one, knowing Enzo would slow down once his burst of exuberance burned itself out and he'd catch up.  "Matrix?"

"Yeah?"

"Sorry you didn't get to do all that stuff.  When you were me, I mean."

"It's cool.  I was with the most amazing girl in the net, so I'm not complaining."

"Yeah."  Enzo said thoughtfully.  He glanced backwards.  "Second most, now!"  With

 a grin he turned back to the trail, Matrix right behind, stifling a laugh. 

There had been a dreamlike quality to the last few cycles, there was no denying it.  There was a time – and it wouldn't have been all that long ago, either – where Enzo could never have imagined the level of familiarity he'd shared with his brother.  It was as though he was seeing Matrix as a whole sprite for the first time, and not just as an admired and vaguely menacing presence.  It wasn't enough to satisfy – not by a long shot.  But it was alphanumeric, just the same.

The boy wasn't sure of the reason for the change – maybe it was just a question of the two of them being together, with no one else to be a buffer between them.  Maybe they _had_ to talk to each other like they hadn't before – maybe that's all it was.  But he suspected it was something more – something that had changed in him.  Maybe _both_ of him.

As the afternoon wore on and their rendezvous with Bob grew closer, Enzo's thoughts turned wistful.  Soon the trip would be just memory, and soon _after_ he'd be back at the Academy.  Why didn't he appreciate the time he had with his family _while_ he was having it?  He certainly did when he was missing it!  He didn't want the trip to end, now.  He didn't want the summer to end.  There was his birthday coming up and all, and that was cool.  And he'd be seeing Lisa again, and that was _more_ than cool.  But these nanos with Matrix would be gone, and then his summer at home behind it.  And the next time he saw them all, he'd be older.  Always older – sometimes it felt too fast, sometimes not fast enough.  Why didn't it ever just feel _right_?

"You're too quiet."

"What?"

"You're too quiet." Matrix' voice came from beside him.  "You don't rattle on like you used to, but you're still _you_ and you haven't said anything for micros."

Enzo felt mildly annoyed.  "Maybe I'm turning into _you_."

"I don't know which one of us should be scared more by that.  Seriously – what's processing?"

"I'm fine.  Just wishing we were gonna be here a while longer.  But keep making fun of me and I'll get over it pretty quick."

"Sorry." Matrix chortled.  "We got a ways to go yet, don't worry – Bob won't be here till twenty-six hundred."

"Yeah."  The boy looked around him, file-saving the images of the lush forest and the sounds of the creatures that inhabited it.  "And it'll be good to get home, I guess.  My birthday's next minute."

"Fourteen, huh?"

"Yup.  Gonna get me a nice present?"

Matrix rapped him on the back of the head.  "I already _did_.  I let you process for another minute, didn't I?"

"Ow!"  Enzo swung wildly at a broad shoulder, but his brother easily dodged out of the way.  "I liked you better when you didn't think you were funny."

"WARNING:  INCOMING GAME 

_WARNING: INCOMING GAME"_

Enzo looked up, surprised at the masculine voice that broke into their conversation.  "A game?  Here?" 

Matrix frowned and scanned the sky.  "I've seen it happen – these wilderness systems get adventure games sometimes.  Not very often though."

"There!" Enzo pointed, feeling a familiar rush of adrenaline as it caused his heart to speed in his chest.  A dark green cylinder was descending from the sky a short distance to their right.  "It's a game cylinder – cool!"

"I've seen 'em in a few systems.  Not as common as cubes, but the realism factor is higher."

"Should we play?"

"Play?" Matrix looked surprised.  "Why?"

"We're Guardians, aren't we?" Enzo asked excitedly.  He could hear the adrenaline causing his voice to rise to a distressingly boyish pitch, but he couldn't help it when a game was concerned.  He had the codes, after all, and they were telling him to defend – but the desire had burned in him even before he'd been upgraded.  "If we don't, the sector will get nullified – and all the animals and trees and stuff!  I'm sure there's no resident Guardian in a system with so few people."

"Not with the war on." Matrix nodded dubiously.  "But I don't know – we don't _need_ to defend the game – there's probably no sprites here."

"But it's so beautiful!  And all those animals and their babies…  Come on, Matrix – we're both Guardians, we can handle the game.  It'll be fun."  The cylinder was falling disturbingly quickly.  "We can still make it!"

Matrix stared down at him and sighed.  "You'll never let me hear the end of it if we don't, will you?"

Enzo grinned.  "Nope."

"All right, all right, let's-"

"C'mon!"  Enzo took of at a dash through the trees, feeling the thrill of the nano course through his veins. Racing the cube – well, cylinder anyway - defending a game – there was nothing like it.

"Wait up!" his brother shouted.  "Ow!  Deleted thorns…"

"We can make it!  Hurry!"  The teenager was glad for once to be small and agile, rather than burly and powerful.

"You think I'm letting you in a game in a strange system without me?"  Enzo could hear his brother smashing through the same undergrowth he was nimbly leaping over and squeezing through.  Despite his size, though, Matrix wasn't falling behind.  "Crash!  I just stepped in something!"

"Almost there!" Enzo panted.  He skidded to a halt, the dark green of the game cylinder filling his view completely as he craned his neck upwards.  "Made it!"

Matrix pulled up beside him, scowling and picking burrs off his legs.  "Why do I let you talk me into this stuff?  Defending a game on a deserted system – it's just not smart."

"I bet you'd have done it anyway, even if I wasn't here."

"You'd lose."

"Whatever."  Not even Matrix could spoil his mood when a game was about to hit.  "Here it comes!"  Enzo closed his eyes – he always did, though he was never quite sure why – and felt a tingle of energy wash over him.  Soon after it was followed by the bracing slap of a chill wind, and he opened them to see an endless patina of white, broken only by dark gray shards of exposed rock towering above them.  They were in the mountains – and high in them, at that.  "Dude – where are we?"

Matrix shielded his eyes from the blinding glare of the sunlight reflecting off the snow and ice surrounding them.  "Everest."

"Never heard of it."

"No?  So the great Academy student doesn't know everything yet, huh?"  Matrix smiled grimly.  "I've seen this one a couple times – "Roof of the World Challenge".  We have to be the first ones to reach the summit – highest one in the User world.  The User will be coming up from the other side, trying to beat us there.  If he does, we're toast."

"A climbing game, huh?"  It sounded easy enough – the boy had been through a few simulations at the Academy.  "Free climbing or technical?"

Matrix arched an eyebrow.  "Free, mostly – but it's pretty tough.  There are some technical stretches, too – hard ones.  Be careful and do what I tell you to at all times, got it?"

"Whatever."  There it was, again – in a nano he was ten, not almost fourteen and about to be a second-hour Guardian cadet.  In Matrix' eyes, he was a child who needed protection, not a partner.  His disgust was nudged aside quickly by physical discomfort.  "Why is it so cold?"

Matrix smiled, a little smugly.  "I told you – systems with game cylinders have a higher reality factor.  Is it too cold for you?"

"No – I'm fine!" the teenager spat.  "I was in a game with Bob that was _much_ colder than this one.  Bring it on."

"OK, Kid – don't waste your energy getting ticked off, you're gonna need it.  That extra dose of realism means we're breathing air that's way thinner than you're used to.  You're gonna get tired a _lot_ faster than you normally do."

"Thinner?"  That was new – and just a trace of doubt began to creep into Enzo's confidence.  "I'm sure I can handle it."

"Yeah, well – we'll see.  Ready?"

"Let's do it."  Both sprites tapped their icons, and with a cry of "Reboot!" Enzo's world shimmered for a nano, and then he almost fell over backwards.  He took a nano to steady himself, then looked himself over.  Jagged metal spikes adorned the bottom of his boots, and he felt the bulk of some kind of goggles on his forehead.  Most of all, he felt the weight of his pack.

"Not bad."  Enzo looked up at his brother.  Matrix was still considerably larger, but the difference between them wasn't quite so extreme as it was in the real world.  Like his brother the big sprite had goggles on his forehead and the metal spikes on his boots, and he was dressed in a heavy coat that Enzo knew was similar to the one that likely adorned his own torso.  Matrix' pack looked huge, but he appeared not to bow under its weight.  "Good gear."

"Yeah." Enzo nodded dubiously.  He tried to stand as straight as possible and held up a foot.  "These are called crampons, right?"

"Very good.  Wouldn't get too far up here without those – that ice would send you down to the bottom of the icefall in a big hurry."

"Icefall?  Is that where we are?"

"Yup." Matrix smiled darkly.  "The Khumbu Icefall – see all those big towers of ice up ahead?  They don't call it the ice _fall_ for nothing – those things come down without much warning.  And trust me, you don't want to be underneath one when it does."

"You're just trying to scare me." Enzo scowled.

"This is a big area for crevasses, too – you know what those are?"

"Of course!  They're like big canyons in the ice."

"Big – sometimes little.  And they can open up right in front of you without any warning – even right _under_ you."

Enzo could see the glint in his brother's eye, and knew the big sprite was enjoying the discomfort he was causing in his brother.  "Maybe we should just stay here and toast marshmallows, if this place scares you so much."

"Just trying to prepare you, that's all.  We'll go through the icefall roped together, even though it's mostly free climbing – just in case you fall in a crevasse."

"_Me_?  Why me?  What if _you_ fall in?"

All trace of humor was gone from Matrix' eyes.  "Then you unclip yourself from the rope as fast as you can, Enzo.  No bullshit – do it.  You get me?"

Enzo's jaw dropped open.  "Unclip myself?"

"As fast as you can.  We'll walk a ways apart so you'll have a couple nanos.  I'm serious, Enzo – you got it?"

"Yeah.  Fine." The boy muttered.  _Let him think whatever he wants…_  "Why is my deleted pack so heavy?"

"We have to carry a lot of survival equipment in this environment.  Climbing ropes, carabiners, water…  And oxygen.  You won't be able to function for long up here without it – steel oxygen cylinders.  And your pack feels heavier because the thin air makes you weaker."

"I'm fine – don't worry about me."  Matrix was right, of course – already he didn't feel quite right in the thin air, but the boy wasn't about to admit it.  "I was just asking, that's all."

Matrix scanned the mountain above them worriedly.  "Maybe I better take some of the load out of your pack – it's a tough climb to the top."

"No!  I can carry my share, don't worry."

"Don't de dumb, Enzo." The big sprite sighed.  "You know what they call the mountains, this high up?  "The death zone".  It's no place for pride – we don't have any margin for error up here."

"I'm not a little _kid_, Spammit!" Enzo growled.  He took off towards higher ground at a determined march, the weight of his pack feeling like Matrix tugging him backwards.  "If we stand around arguing all day the user will beat us to the top for sure!"

"Wait!" Matrix snapped.  His crampons crunched into the ice behind the teenager.

"I'm not giving you any of my gear.  I'm fine."

"Just _wait_."  Now Matrix really _was_ pulling Enzo back, and he halted and turned.  "We need to get our oxygen masks set up, Nullhead!  If you want to be treated like a grown-up stop acting like a little kid in a snit!"  Enzo stood, panting heavily, wanting to snap back with a sharp reply but unable to muster the breath.   "See?  _Now_ do you understand how tough this is going to be?"

"Just…shut up, all right?  I'm sorry."

Matrix fumbled with Enzo's pack, fighting the zipper with thickly gloved hands.  After a nano the boy felt a mask slip over his mouth and nose, filling his nostrils with a sickly rubber smell.  "You ever wear an oxygen mask before?"

Enzo nodded.  "Yeah.  Under…  Underwater.  In a diving game.  Treasure hunt."

"Good.  Same basic idea – just breathe naturally.  The rig goes right on top of your pack.  I'm setting it just about medium flow – don't turn it up unless you start to really lose it, OK?  We have to make it last all the way to the top."

"Yeah."  His voice was oddly muffled.  "No problem.  You need help setting yours?"

"I got it.  And put your goggles on – the glare off the ice will blind you if you don't."

"Got it."  Enzo fumbled with his goggles for a nano with fingers that felt thick and clumsy, then settled it over his eyes.  Immediately the headache he'd felt brewing behind his temples lessened, and he felt his breathing begin to slow down.  "Man…  That's better."

"Told you – thin air."  Matrix was rooting through his pack again.  A moment later he was stringing a climbing rope through the clip of his climbing harness.  "You know how to use one of these?"

"Uh…"  Enzo was still having a hard time concentrating – he _knew_ he knew how, but his processor felt all fuzzy.  "Gimme a nano – I know how!"

"It's OK." Matrix smiled.  "The oxygen takes a few millis to kick in.  See this tab?  Press this and you thread more rope through the carabiner.  And this one will unclip you from the rope.  You understand?  That's important."

"Yes – I got it.  Press the tab and it unclips the rope."

"Good boy."  Matrix played out a length of rope about twice his height, looped the rope through his own harness and tested it.  "We're good here.  I'll flank over a ways to the left in case of crevasses – we'll short-rope all the way through the icefall.  Help me keep the rope from getting tangled on any obstacles, all right?"

"Yeah." Enzo nodded.  He looked up into the dazzlingly blue sky and picked out a pyramid of rock to their left.  "Is that the summit?"

"That's it."

"Doesn't look too far…"

"It's not how far it is – it's how difficult it is to get there.  You ready to go?"

"Yeah – I feel better.  Let's do it."  He gave Matrix a thumbs' up and the brothers started off across the vast field of ice, their crampons crunching loudly with each step.  The canned air _was_ making him feel better, but his body felt run through with a persistent weakness – even lifting his legs to stride forward was harder than it should have been.

The landscape of the game was austere and harsh, but oddly beautiful.  The brilliance of the blue sky was dazzling against the white of the snow and ice, which covered every surface but for isolated outcroppings of gray rock.  As they walked through the icefall the howl of distant wind was occasionally joined by vast creaks and groans that came from deep beneath them.  "Is that the ice?"

"Yup." Matrix answered.  "It's always shifting and settling."  Enzo eyed a vast pinnacle of ice warily as they passed next to it.  Just at that nano there was a loud "crack" and the boy flinched, involuntarily, but the ice mountain appeared not to have moved.  "Just a crevasse opening up somewhere – don't worry."

"I'm not." Enzo mumbled nervously.  The jolt of fear gave him a spike of energy, but soon it dissipated and the teenager felt a malaise begin to grip his body.  The air was thin, but it's effect was as though it were thick and unyielding, as if they were slogging through heavy mud.  

Soon the ground rose more sharply as the vast towers of ice grew scarcer, and a wall of ice and rock grew larger and larger in front of them.  Beyond it, shrouded by wisps of cloud and looking close enough to touch, loomed the summit - but even in his weariness Enzo knew that was an illusion.  The peak was farther away than it looked.  "We have to…climb that…now?"

"Yeah." Matrix huffed.  "It's the most technical part of the climb.  After that it's all free climbing, maybe a couple of spots where we'll need minor gear."

The boy looked up at the wall of ice-covered rock in front of them.  He'd done more than his share of climbing simulations during his first hour at the Academy, but it still looked formidable.  "We belay up this?"

"Yeah.  I'll go ahead and set some handholds with ice screws, and belay you up.  We'll take it one step at a time."

"What about the User?" Enzo panted.  "Do we have time?"

"He's got a hard climb too – the northern route is even tougher than this one.  We'll make it.  You good to go?"

"Yeah." he nodded.  His head felt clear, but his body weak – the pack still felt like ten men weighing him down.  

"Stay put – I'll climb as far as that first ledge and set the rope, then you follow."

"Right."  Enzo was too tired to argue the point, much as he would have liked to.  Matrix started carefully picking his way up the rock face, using his small ice axe to chip a handhold into the permafrost when none was readily available.  Where there was rock he pounded pitons, and where ice covered it thickly he used ice screws.  Threading the rope through carabiners at every step, he made his way to the ledge, perhaps ten times Enzo's height above the icefall.  

"Ho!  You ready?"

"Yeah!"

"Grab the rope and get your bitmap up here, then!"  Enzo flashed a thumbs'-up, grabbed the rope that was still attached to his harness and began working his way upwards. 

Heights didn't bother the boy, especially – he rather enjoyed climbing under better circumstances, and with the rope and the various anchors Matrix had left him the technical aspects of the climb weren't very difficult as long as he didn't look down.  But the leaden weariness he felt made every nano of the ascent torture – his arms were aflame with agony and by the time he pulled himself onto the ledge he knew the smile he tried to force out looked much more like a grimace.  "Made…it!" 

"Good job." Matrix said with a punctuating clap on the shoulder.  "Wish we had a keytool right now – it'd be nice to know where the User is."

"I'm fine.  Let's just keep going."

"Let's switch bottles first."  Matrix retrieved a fresh bottle and reached for his brother's rig.

"I'll do it." Enzo panted, taking the canister.  "While you do yours.  Save time."

"You sure, Kid?"

"Yeah.  I know how to do it."  He knew how the mechanism worked – it was simple and straightforward, and under different circumstances he wouldn't even have needed to pay attention as he replaced the oxygen.  As it was, he slowly and carefully unscrewed the empty bottle from the apparatus, measuring every action and forcing his wearier body to obey his weary processor.  

By the time he'd inserted the new canister into the housing and adjusted the flow, Matrix had finished and was waiting for him.  "Got it?"

"Yeah – NP.  Let's go."

"In a nano."

Matrix was at his brother's back again, unzipping his pack.  "What're you doing?"

"Taking some of your load.  To speed us up."

"What?  Why?  I told you I was fine, Matrix!"

"There's no point in taking chances." Matrix scowled, stuffing equipment into his already bursting pack.  "You don't have to prove anything to me, Enzo – I don't think you're weak." 

Frustration boiled up inside the boy.  "I can carry my own share, Spammit.  Just let me do it!"

"Don't they teach you anything at that Academy?  Winning the game is all that matters.  Look – you don't have to apologize because you're fourteen and I'm grown-up – it's not like it's your fault!  If I can take the extra weight and get us both up to the top faster, why the hell shouldn't I?"

"But…"  In his weakened state Enzo just couldn't make his processor run fast enough to come up with a convincing counterargument.  And if Matrix didn't understand, he couldn't _make_ him understand.  "Fine.  Just do it."

"Stupid." Matrix muttered as he shifted more weight from Enzo's backpack.  "We aren't even going to need these that much longer, anyway – we can dump most of the equipment once we get to the top of the face.  You ready?"

"Yeah."

Matrix' pack looked enormous, but the big sprite seemed to bear it without much difficulty.  "OK – I'll work my way up to that little ice shelf up there and then belay you up.  Can you do it?"

Enzo craned his neck.  "Crash, that's not even sheer – it's an overhang!"

"It's also the fastest way to the top.  We can go around to the right if you want – it looks easier.  But it'll cost us some time."

"No – go the way you said.  I can do it."

"You sure?"

"I _said_ I was, didn't I?"  The teenager managed a weak smile.  "I'll be fine – no point in taking chances with time when we don't know how fast the User's going."

"Fair enough."  Without further ceremony the big sprite began inching his way up the rock face, sheer immediately above the ledge but becoming an overhang as it approached the shelf of ice that was their next planned stop.  Enzo was scared just watching his brother scale the incline laden with the enormous pack – it seemed almost impossible that he could make his way up in those conditions without existing aid, but he methodically worked his way upwards, planting pitons and ice screws and leaving a trail of rope behind him.  The boy was filled with an overwhelming sense of admiration for his brother in that nano, the likes of which he'd never felt before.  Matrix was incredible – his strength unimaginable, and courage to match.  Was it really possible that _he_ would be so powerful some cycle?  As small and weak as he felt at that nano, the answer seemed all too obvious.

A growing sense of unease about the climb gripped Enzo's stomach as his brother neared the small platform of ice.  Training or no, this was far more difficult than anything he'd ever attempted.  When Matrix disappeared over the lip of ice and shouted down a moment later, the boy tried to take an example from the big sprite, swallowed a deep breath, and began pulling his way up the rope.

Almost instantly he was grateful for the decreased weight on his back.  The difference in workload was enormous, and considering the radical steepness of the climb it was hard to imagine he would have had the strength to manage it otherwise.  But who knew what strength you could find, when you needed it?  Enzo picked his way upwards, unclipping the rope from the carabiners as he ascended past them and availing himself of the handholds that Matrix had left him.  He looked up once to see his brother's face peering down at him over the ledge, but he didn't hold that gaze.  The task at hand was what mattered now - nothing else.

Enzo broke the climb down into pieces, just as he'd broken down the cycles after he'd first left home into less-scary chunks of time.  It was better if he didn't look down or up – just concentrated on the rock and ice in front of him, on the rope and the next handhold – especially when the slope grew past parallel, and he knew his back was to the ground.  His lungs burned from the thin air and his shoulders and legs cramped from effort, but he knew he was ascending that cliff at a steady pace.  And soon – it felt almost astonishingly soon, though he wouldn't have been able to say just how long it actually _was_ – he felt the top of his head bang into the shelf of ice and felt powerful arms pulling him atop it. 

"Nice of you to join me."

"Got here…as fast as I could."

Matrix winked.  "You did a helluva job, Little Brother – nice climbing.  Now you can rest for a nano."

"Thanks, Matrix." Enzo panted, rubbing his aching upper arms.  "We better not rest for too long…  Who knows where the User is."

"You sure?"  
  


"Yeah."

"OK, Kiddo.  You can rest while I get to the top."  The bearded sprite looked up, thoughtfully.  "It's not much farther…  And the slope is a lot gentler the rest of the way, too.  We could almost free climb it.  And once we get to the top of this face, it's pretty much all free climbing the rest of the way.  We'll stay roped together on the Hilary Step, but it's pretty much a footrace from here."

"Hilary Step?"

"It's a ridge, right before the summit – it's not steep, but it's a knife edge – narrow.  We'll stay roped together in case one of us falls off."  Matrix jerked his gaze back down, face set in determination.  "Take off your pack."

"Why?"

"Like I said – it's all about speed from here, Enzo.  I just need a couple of pitons and carabiners between here and the top of the face, and from there all we need is the rope and one oxygen canister each.  We'll change tanks here and I'll take that other stuff in your pack and dump mine here – we'll be traveling a lot lighter, and lighter means faster."

"Cool."  Enzo nodded.  "But if it's gonna be so light, why not just let me carry it?"

"Enzo.  We're _not_ going to have this conversation again, are we?"

"No." The boy sighed, slipping off his pack.  Pride was clearly a dangerous companion that would always be with him – he could see it, even as he wrestled with it.  But it wasn't easy to simply swallow his pride, just like that – that's what no one seemed to understand.

Matrix took off his pack and placed it next to Enzo's on the ledge.  Both sprites changed oxygen canisters again, Matrix again finishing more quickly.  He transferred a few items from his pack to his brother's, leaving the larger pack groaning with equipment and slipping the lighter one onto his back.  "Man – that's a lot better."

The boy experimentally hefted the huge pack, and could barely budge it.  "Dude - how did you _carry_ that thing?"

"Once in a while these muscles come in handy." His brother smiled.  "Sorry, Enzo – but it's true."  He stood and reached over his head, gently pounding a piton into the rock face.  He attached a Carabiner and threaded the rope through it.  "This'll be your first handhold, Kid.  We shouldn't need more than one or two more between here and the top."

"Right – it looks easy enough."  Matrix slipped his hammer back into his harness and experimentally tested the wall for a foothold with his right leg.  Enzo heard something –  _felt_ something was more like it – a vibration, through the soles of his boots.  "What was that?"

"What?" Matrix frowned, stepping back down to the ledge.  It all happened so quickly that it was a blur in Enzo's processor, even as it was happening.  There was a sharp cracking noise; the ice quivered under him, and for some reason Matrix was falling.  The big sprite shouted in alarm and frantically scrambled with his hands against the rock, then disappeared from view.   The ice where he had stood nanos before was gone, a jagged-edged void in it's place.


	4. Strength

ACT NATURALLY 

**CHAPTER IV**

"Matrix!" Enzo screamed, as soon as he found his voice.  His brother was falling, a surprised look on his face, and for an instant Enzo thought the ice beneath _him_ would give as well, and send him plummeting after the big sprite.  Then he screamed again, this time in pain, as there was a spine-cracking jolt to his torso and he was slammed against the rock face, hard.  A tremendous weight was pulling on him, tearing him in half.  He screamed again.

Dimly, through the fog of pain, he heard his brother's voice calling his name.  _He's still alive!  _That fact spurred his processor into action, and with a sudden clarity he realized how he could make the pain stop.  He reached as high and as far as he could, and with his fingertips felt the solid metal of the belay device.  With trembling fingers he depressed the tab and instantly the pressure was gone – the carabiner now supporting the weight of the rope and the big sprite dangling from it.  The boy collapsed against solid rock, retching, anguished tears rolling down his face.

Trembling, waves of agony shooting through his body, Enzo fought against the urge to surrender to the pain.  He could hear his brother's voice calling to him from below.  Gingerly the boy tried to move, using the rock face for support, each micron feeling like a mile.  There was soreness all up and down his back where it had slammed against rock, and a deeper, more penetrating pain from his middle – it felt as if his spine had been pulled apart.  Yet he _could_ move, slowly and carefully, though it hurt terribly to do so.  His brother was alive – he _had_ to move.

Each breath agony, the teenager slowly wedged himself upright, leaning back against the face.  He looked down to see his feet at the very edge of what remained of the ice shelf, Matrix' backpack next to him.  Whether the depleted ledge would hold for long, there was no way to know.  Matrix was calling his name, over and over, and Enzo tried to force enough air into his lungs to reply.  He pulled his mask off.  "Matrix?" he rasped.  

"Enzo!  Are you all right?"

"Yeah.  I…  I think I'm just bruised.  Are you OK?"

"I've been better."  Fighting vertigo, Enzo peered over the precipice, loathe to leave the reassuring bulk of the rock face against his back.  His horrified eyes saw Matrix dangling, upside down, what seemed like a mile below him.   "My hands are scraped up, and I swung into the rock face pretty hard, but I don't think anything's broken.  You're not hurt?  Can you walk?  I heard you scream."

"When…  When you fell, the rope yanked me pretty hard."  Enzo's voice broke into a fit of coughing.  "It knocked… the wind out of me.  I closed the brake on the belay device as quick as I could."

"Good thinking."

"Are you OK?  Can you climb back up?"

"Spammit, I can't….  I can't _reach_!  The deleted rope tangled on my leg and I can't reach it!"  Enzo could hear the strain in his brother's voice – the effort to keep a sense of calm, which was for _his_ benefit.  "I don't think I can climb back up."

"Try!" Enzo shouted, tasting bile.  "You can do it!  You _have_ to do it."

"I _can't. _We're not all as flexible as you, Kid.  I can't reach it."

"Oh, User!"  Enzo doffed his goggles and wiped his eyes quickly.  This was bad – _very_ bad.  The urge to panic was powerful, strong – the boy felt very small on the flanks of the mountain.  "What do I _do_, Matrix?"

"Stay calm, Enzo."

"I'll try."  Slowly he lowered himself to his knees, wincing as his body protested.  "I'll…  I can try and pull you up."

"You can't, Enzo – there's no way.  You're not strong enough."

"Yes I am!" the boy screamed, willing it to be true.  He gripped the rope in both hands and began to tug.  "I can do it!"

"Don't!" Matrix shouted back.  "You can't do it, Enzo – you'll fall off trying.  This isn't going to work!"

Enzo pulled as hard as he could, groaning from the effort, ignoring the pain that flared through his body.  He screamed again, straining as hard as he could, but the rope seemed not to move a micron.  The boy fell back against the rock, exhausted.  "Spammit – I can't do it!  Why can't I do it?"

"I told you – that isn't going to work.  Just stay calm, all right?"

"Spammit – why aren't I _strong_ enough?"  He grabbed the rope and pulled again, screaming from the pain and exertion, but there was no give at all.

"Stop it! Stop it, Enzo – you aren't gonna help me by falling off or deleting yourself!"

"FAQ!"  The boy fell back and covered his face with gloved hands, panting heavily.  A strong will might be one thing, but in the face of reality it could only accomplish so much.  _I'm not gonna be able to save him…_

"Unclip the rope."

"What?"

"Unclip yourself from the rope.  It's the only way."  Matrix' voice was calm, but Enzo could hear the strain.  "You'll have to win the game on your own."

"No!  I'm not leaving you here!"

"You're not strong enough to pull me up, and I can't reach the rope.  I don't think you have any choice."

"No!  I don't believe in the no-win scenario!  What if the rope breaks, or the carabiner gives out?  Or you run out of air?  You could delete!"

"Enzo, just _do_ it!  It's the only way."

"Just shut up a micro, all right?"  Enzo, already beginning to feel light-headed, slipped the oxygen mask back over his mouth and breathed deeply.  "Think, stupid!  Just think – you can do it…"

"Enzo-"

"Shut up!"  The boy willed himself to concentrate, block out all distractions – even his brother's voice.  _Think!   Just think…  Spammit, why can't I do it?  Why I am I so weak? _The answer didn't come – there was just cold, and pain, and fear.  _No worse than I've faced before_. He told himself.

_Know your strengths…  Matrix said that, right?   Use your strengths…  OK – Physical strength isn't one of them.  I can't pull him up.  I have to just admit it – or I'm being even weaker.  What can I do?  I have to be smart – just be smart…_  Enzo opened his eyes, looked around the ledge.  Matrix' backpack was there – maybe there was something inside, something that could help…  But _what_?

The answer, when it struck him, was so incredibly simple that he almost disbelieved it at first.  There wasn't anything _in_ the pack that could save Matrix…  But the pack could.  Maybe.  It was a science lesson from when he was a little kid, way before the Academy even.  What had they called it?  _Pulley_, that's what it was – a pulley.  And knowing your strengths.  Maybe _he_ wasn't strong enough, but…  "I have an idea."

"What?  I can't understand you!"

Enzo ripped his mask off.  "I have an idea."

"What?  What is it?  Enzo – don't do anything stupid!"

"Don't go anywhere!" the boy shouted.  _Work fast, before the thin air gets you…_  The boy slipped his arms through the straps of Matrix' bulging backpack, then turned to reach for the carabiner.  To his alarm he couldn't even rise far enough off the ground the reach it – the pack was that heavy.  With a groan the boy rose into a crouch and summoned all his will, trying to force his thin boy's legs to straighten, screaming from the effort.

"What're you doing?"

Slowly, surely, Enzo raised himself up against the rock face, grateful for every session he'd spent in the Academy weight room.  His hands quested over his head, scrabbling over rock and ice until they felt metal.  _Get the right tab!  Make sure it's the right one…_  He braced himself against the pain he knew was coming, and released the brake.

All at once there was a fierce pull on the rope, but the additional ballast of the weighty pack saved his body from the worst of it.  He cast his eyes over the precipice, bracing himself against the sudden terror that gripped him as he contemplated what he was about to do.  _Know your strengths!  Smart and brave, right?  Brave… Besides, the rope will hold.  Won't it? _ Closing his eyes and spreading his arms, the boy leaned out over the abyss and allowed himself to fall.

The sensation wasn't even unpleasant – at least it wouldn't have been had all-consuming terror not been coursing through his veins along with his code.  The fall seemed absurdly slow – a hovering sensation, like a bird riding an updraft from the desert on a warm afternoon.  But he _was_ falling, slowly – nothing but air around him, wind howling in his ears, cold kissing his skin.  Above him, the ledge of ice receded slowly – too slowly.  _Crash – what if I'm still not heavy enough?_

As the ledge receded Matrix grew closer, micron by micron.  The big sprite's mouth was open in a gape of astonishment and he didn't say anything for what seemed like minutes.  Finally, as the boy's prostrate form descended almost to eye level, he spoke.  "What in the net are you thinking?!"

"It was the only way." Enzo rasped with aching lungs.  Face down the ground seemed very, very far away.  "I couldn't pull you up, and I couldn't leave you there.  I saw how heavy your pack was, and-"

"I…You…  Unbelievable!" Matrix sputtered.  

"It'll work." The boy breathed, willing it as much as saying it.  His sense of falling stopped and how he could feel only a slight swinging as the wind caught him.  He and Matrix were only an arm's length apart now, and the distance didn't change.  Improbably, impossibly, their weights were balanced perfectly.  "No!  It _can't_ be!"

"I can't believe you even tried this, Enzo!  You put your own life at risk when you could have gone on and won the game yourself!"

"I couldn't leave you.  I couldn't."  Feeling woozy the teenager slipped his mask back on and breathed deeply.  The canister on his back was nearly empty, he knew – and he wouldn't be able to reach into his pack for another suspended in this position.  There were two canisters in his brother's pack, though – could he reach it?  His brother's pack… He slipped the mask back off.  "Matrix!"

"We're really codeswapped now, Kid.  We-"

"Drop the pack!" Enzo panted.  "Drop it and you'll be lighter than me, and the rope will pull you up!"

"What?"

"It doesn't matter how much heavier, even a little bit…  If I'm heavier you _have_ to get pulled back up – it's physics.  Drop the pack!"

Matrix frowned thoughtfully.  "I guess we've got nothing to lose by trying…  We're not exactly in a winning position as it is."

"Do it."  Enzo breathed oxygen again, hungrily.  Matrix contorted at the end of his rope, slipping first one arm through the straps of the lighter pack, then the other.  Enzo watched it fall, shrinking until it inaudibly collided with the icefall in a puff of snow.  When the boy raised his eyes his brother was slowly but surely being pulled up towards the ledge.  "Yes!"

"It's working!" Matrix laughed hoarsely.

"Pixelacious!"  In his elation it was almost possible to forget that a rope clipped to a climbing harness was all the kept Enzo from being deleted, far below.   "Faster, faster…  Work faster, spammit!"

"Almost there!"  The teenager's slightly greater weight continued to force his brother to be pulled upwards, slowly but surely, as the laws of physics did their work.  Enzo had never been more grateful in his life that Dot made him go to school.  Matrix eyed the ledge, then grabbed at the rock and pulled himself atop it when the face came within reach.  Frantically untangling the rope from his leg he peered over the edge.  "You OK down there?"

"Yes!" Enzo shouted back.  "Just get me up there fast, OK?  I'm scared shitless!"

"Hang on!"  The big sprite leveraged himself against the rock and began to draw on the rope, again using the carabiner as a pulley.  "Hang on…  Crash – you're heavy!"

"Should… should I drop the pack?"

"No – we need that stuff.  I can do it."

"Hurry!"  Now that Matrix was safe, the peril of the boy's own situation felt all too clear.  He didn't want to look down, but it was impossible _not_ to – he could only look up by craning his neck, which hurt terribly after a few nanos.  The ground looked so, so far away, and the movement of the rope felt excruciatingly slow.  What if it gave out?  Or the rest of the ledge collapsed?

"Just hold on, Kid!" Matrix grunted.  Enzo could hear the strain in his brother's voice as he battled the rope, but if the big sprite was tired he didn't allow it to slow his progress.  It felt like forever but the boy _was_ moving, he could feel it, and when he looked up now Matrix was close enough to see the frost on his beard.  The teenager closed his eyes and waited, too tired to look up and too unnerved to look down, until he felt a pull at his harness and his feet were on solid ice.  "Gotcha!"

"Matrix…"  Enzo slipped the pack off, wrapped his arms around the bulk in front of him and clung for dear processing.  His brother felt as solid as any mountain in that nano.

"It's OK, Kid.  I got you."

"I know.  I…I just need a nano."

"You OK?" the big sprite whispered.

"Yeah…  Yeah, I'm fine.  Just a little freaked out.  Thanks."

"Thank the User."  Matrix pounded on his brother's back softly.  "Nothing broken?"

"No."  Enzo opened his eyes at last.  "But let's get out of here, OK?  I don't trust this ledge anymore."

"Me neither.  But we're gonna _talk_ about this, Little Brother.  That was a pretty risky thing you just did."

"We're all right, aren't we?"

"Yeah – we got lucky.  But-"

"Look – I just did what you said, Matrix.  I knew you could pull me up.  And I wasn't gonna leave you there to delete.  No _way_."

Matrix, scowling, cuffed the boy's neck roughly and sighed.  "Stubborn kid.  Always were.  We don't have time to do this now, but that doesn't mean you're off the hook, got it?"

"Got it.  Can we go now?"

"Yeah."  Matrix hurriedly removed everything from the pack except two oxygen canisters and an extra coil of rope, then slipped it on his back.  He handed one of the dislodged tanks to his brother.  "You can swap this on your own?"

"Yeah." Enzo nodded, only now noticing that his mask appeared to be supplying him nothing but the stale air trapped inside it.  "Start climbing."

"See you at the top."  Matrix began to cautiously pick his way upwards, then peered back down.  "Thanks for saving me, Enzo."

"Don't mention it." The boy smiled weakly.  His brother turned back to the rock face.  "Matrix?"

"Yeah?"

"My brains and your strength is a pretty awesome combination, huh?"

"Unless you feel like staying down there, I'd think real hard about keeping my mouth shut – _Little_ Brother."  

"Right."  Without another downward glance Matrix returned to the climb and Enzo watched him, certain that the ledge was going to give out at any nano.  It didn't – the hardest part of the climb was over and Matrix reached the top of the wall in short order.  Wanting nothing more than he wanted to put that part of the mountain behind him forever, Enzo quickly followed.  Belaying up the slope was easy on the nerves compared to hanging from the rope in midair, and easier even than being stuck on the ledge.  Climbing was a relief after that.

Once they reached the top of the rock face the summit was in view, clearly – a brilliant black pyramid against the blue sky, it's visage broken only by a wisp of cloud just below it's apex.  The ground sloped upwards towards it rather gently, and Enzo could see the knife's-edge ridge Matrix had called the Hilary Step.  It might have been intimidating once, but after the ordeal he'd been through Enzo thought it looked a walk in Floating Point Park.  They took off towards the Step at a steady clip, needing nothing more than their crampons to ensure steady footing.

"You don't think the User is up there ahead of us, do you?"

Matrix squinted towards the summit.  "I don't see him – but he'll be climbing from the other side.  He's alone and he's got the tougher route, so I'd surprised if he's making better time than we are.  He's probably burned a few of his lives already."

"Man – this is the _easy_ side?  I'd hate to see what _he's_ climbing!  Why bother?"

"Who knows?  Maybe he won from the south route already.  Maybe he likes a challenge.  Users don't get nullified when they lose – all they have to do is restart.  Don't ask why – just be glad."

"Yeah – I guess."  Enzo followed closely behind his brother, concentrating on matching his pace to distract himself from the achy weariness that threatened to drag him down.  "You sure learned a lot playing all those games, huh?"

"The hard way.  Don't waste your oxygen talking – just climb."

"I guess… I guess learning about games isn't really the same as _playing_ them, huh?"

"There's no substitute for experience, Kid."  The big sprite turned back with a scowl.  "What did I say about talking?"

"Sorry."  Enzo tried to imagine himself having to play games like this every cycle, like his life depended on it – because it did.  Playing these games every cycle with no one there to teach him or guide him or even help him except someone even younger than he was.  There would be no luxury of time to learn – only experience.  Anything he learned would be through failure and pain – effective enough as a teaching tool, but…

That had been Matrix' teacher.  Pain.  Failure.  And it had taught him survival.  He was hard sometimes, now.  Impatient.  But wouldn't Enzo be, too, if that was the course _his_ education had taken?  The boy caught up to his brother and walked beside him.  The big sprite stared down at him and he smiled, weakly.  Matrix frowned, then returned his gaze to the mountain.  "This is it – Hilary step."

"I can do this – no problem."

"Don't get cocky." Matrix growled.  "Let's swap the last tank in here, and that should take us to the top.  Stay close to me and be aware every time you plant your foot down, got it?  This is a dangerous stretch of mountain."

"If you say it, I believe it."

Matrix stared at the boy again, his expression unreadable behind his goggles.  With a shake of his head he clipped a short length of rope to Enzo's climbing harness, then his own, and proceeded to swap his last oxygen canister into place while his brother did the same.  His thumbs-up was returned in kind, and the two sprites started up the Hilary step.

The wind was stronger here as they drew closer to the exposed summit, a loud presence in their ears and a constant unpredictable factor as they picked their way up the Step.  In most places the ridge was barely as wide as Enzo was tall, perhaps less.  On either side it fell away steeply, an endless expanse of white than seemed to go on forever.  Enzo wondered idly how long it would take him to reach the bottom if he fell, then wished he hadn't.  On a few occasions a particularly strong gust threatened to blow him off his feet, causing the boy to grab onto the back of his brother's parka in panic.  It was a pulse-quickening nano each time it happened, and the teenager felt his heart pounding in his chest.  Even with his mask on the air was thin and seemed incapable of allowing him a satisfying breath.  His lungs were always hungry and his head began to throb.  All in all, it wasn't a pleasant hike.

Still, they progressed – knowing the User was on the flank of the mountain somewhere, perhaps closing in on the summit as quickly as they were.  Enzo was content to trust Matrix' experience – he stepped where the big sprite stepped and paused when he paused.  While the mountain made him feel small it also made Matrix seem a mountain himself in the boy's eyes – his large body even protecting him from some of the wind's harshest effects.  Enzo was lucky to have Matrix with him in that place, and he knew it – and he knew he'd be a fool to let his pride interfere with that good fortune.  Matrix would get him to the top, if anyone could.

Soon the Step was behind them, and all that remained was a relatively easy scramble up the summit pyramid.  Easy, that is, in better circumstances – Enzo was tired, slightly groggy from the thin air, and his head hurt – a pounding behind the eyes that was matched only by the throbbing from his back and spine.  He was sure Matrix must be feeling _some_ effects of the ordeal they'd been through, but the big sprite's gait was steady and his expression unchanged.  Either he simply felt no pain, or was able to ignore it – and Enzo wasn't sure which would be the more impressive feat.

 "This last bit is just free climbing – not that steep and plenty of handholds.  You ready for it?"

"Yeah.  I'm… ready."

Matrix smiled gruffly.  "You know, I can take this part on my own – you can stay here and rest if you want.  You did good to get this far – this is a damn tough game."

"No."  It was his pride again, Enzo knew it – Matrix could probably get up there faster without him.  But after all they'd been through, he couldn't imagine himself quitting now.  Was that a bad thing?  "I really want… to finish it."

The big sprite nodded.  "Figured you'd say that.  Lead the way, Kiddo."

"Really?"  Matrix stood aside, and the boy started up the final ascent.  "Cool."

He felt a slap on his back.  "Couldn't have made it this far without you, Enzo."

"Thanks."  Enzo wasn't really sure if that was true of not – he'd been there when Matrix had fallen, true, and used his wits to get them _both_ out of that crisis.  But who knew if Matrix would even have been there when that ledge collapsed if Enzo hadn't been with him?

The boy picked his way up the rocky pyramid, all bare rock, the exposure to fierce winds blowing it clear of snow and preventing the formation of ice.  It didn't make sense to worry about maybes, he guessed – whatever would have happened if he hadn't been there didn't matter  – and he _had_ done his part, there was no question about that.  He'd known when to swallow his pride – but maybe it was OK to feel a little pride now.  He'd helped his brother get them to the brink of victory.  The User was irrelevant – when he and Matrix were together there wasn't a game they couldn't handle.

The pain in Enzo's head and body receded a little as he picked the last few steps up to the summit, his small body somehow finding a reserve of energy to ride his exhilaration across the finish line.  He stood atop the mountain and Matrix scrambled up behind him, and it truly felt like the top of the world – he could see forever, mountains and green valleys and far-off thunderheads, and most of all the sky – so achingly blue and best of all, they were a _part_ of that sky.  It was the most beautiful sight the boy had ever seen in his short life, after Lisa's face.  He laughed hoarsely and held up his hand, and Matrix resoundingly slapped it.  "Not bad, huh?"

"Not bad." Enzo grinned.  There was a small cloud of snow on the southern flank of the mountain, a few micros climb below them.  "User?"

"Yup.  Guess we had a little time to spare."

"Hey!  Why hasn't the game ended yet?  Isn't this the top?"

"Experience, Kid – I told you."  Matrix reached inside his parka and pulled out a small flag, emblazoned with a Guardian icon.  "This was one thing I didn't want to risk leaving behind by mistake."

"Spam!  I wouldn't have even known that…"

"You'd have figured it out."  The big sprite slipped the hammer off his belt and gently pounded the banner into the rock. "Eventually."  Enzo watched him sheepishly, feeling a little younger and greener than he'd have liked.  But that wasn't such a terrible feeling, really, when he was honest with himself.  _You are what you are, I guess, and I'm a kid – for now.  Better to admit it than pretend you're not…_

_"GAME OVER"_

The rush of warm air was invigorating, like stepping under a hot shower on a cold day.  Matrix closed his eyes and savored the heat, the dewy thickness of the air as it filled his lungs.  "Well – I'm glad _that's_ over."

He peered down at a boy who had seen better cycles.  Enzo looked exhausted, and was painfully stretching out his back.  "Hey – it was _your_ idea to defend the game, don't bitch about it now.  You OK?"

"Yeah.  When you fell off that ledge I thought I was gonna be ripped in half, though.  Gonna be sore for a while.  How about you?"

"Been through a lot worse.  Just goes to show you, Enzo – any time you defend a game it's risky, game-sprite mode or not.  Once that game drops you never know what you're gonna get."

"I know." Enzo sighed.  "But I'm still glad we did it."

"We can argue about _that_ on the way – we've still got an appointment with Bob, and that little adventure cost us some time.  First thing we have to do is find our way back to the trail, though."

"I don't think that's gonna be a problem."  The teenager pointed to a swathe of crushed vegetation.  "Looks like a squad of ABCs came through there!"

"Yeah, yeah – laugh it up."  Matrix started off through the brush towards the trail they'd left behind them.  "I didn't hear you complaining when this squad of ABCs hauled your skinny butt back up to that ledge."

"Chill!  Just kidding."  Enzo fell into step next to him, having no trouble picking his way unscathed through the trampled undergrowth.  "You were totally alphanumeric in that game, Matrix.  I thought I was pretty good, but all I did was slow you down."

The big sprite felt a stab of irritation.  "Like when you saved my bitmap?"

"Yeah – well…"  Enzo blushed.  "That was a freak thing to happen.  And I got lucky.  But you were saving mine through the whole game."

Matrix was a little surprised his brother wasn't availing himself of the chance to gloat at his expense.  He was embarrassed at his predicament in that game – embarrassed to be helpless and _need_ saving.  But strangely, it didn't rankle like it should – he was more proud of his brother than ashamed of himself.  "You'd have gotten there.  Eventually.  But I guess there's something to learn from that – when you have a partner in there with you, a lot of stuff that could be fatal can still be beaten.  Two is always better than one."

"Sure.  I guess we really do make a pretty good team, huh?"

"Maybe."  Matrix smiled.  They emerged from the brush and back onto the trail.  "I know you're tired and sore, but we need to set a pretty good pace if we're gonna get to the rendezvous point before Bob.  You up to it?"

"Yeah.  Lead the way."  

"Tell me if you need a break."  There was no reply but the light footfalls behind him.  There was a stoicism to Enzo's demeanor that certainly hadn't been there before, the big sprite noticed.  An _acceptance_.  It was all part of growing up, but still it saddened him to think about it.

They walked on in silence for a while, the landscape around them taking on a more familiar appearance, each sprite weary and content to ponder their own thoughts.  The trail slowly dipped as they trekked, and through a clearing in the trees the glint of a data stream could be seen in the distance.  "Is that the river by the trail junction?" Enzo's clear, youthful voice came from behind.

"That's the one."  The boy was at the stage now where his voice sounded a little different every time he spoke, seemingly – sometimes the pure boyish alto of youth, sometimes the cracked strain of a teenager, usually somewhere in between.  It was always a bit jarring to hear those voices – voices Matrix knew, deep within him, but somehow never expected to hear again.  

"So I guess it's almost over, huh."

"Guess so."  They walked through thinning forest until the tress gave way to tall grass, and the glinting of the stream was joined by the swathe of the cross trail that had served them at the start of their journey.  Matrix pulled up and checked his internal clock.  "Made it!  With Millis to spare."

"Cool."  Enzo stopped beside him, wiping his brow.  "Seems weird to think it was all just a few cycles…"

Matrix spied a large boulder and sat atop it, tossing his bag to the side.  Enzo followed suit and stared thoughtfully out over the river.  "So – you have fun?"

"Yeah."  Enzo smiled a little, was silent for a few nanos, then looked up.  "Did you?"

"Yeah." His brother nodded.  "You know, I did."

"Cool."  Enzo grinned widely.  He was, as ever, transparent in his feelings.  "I'm glad.  I know you didn't really want to come."

"Yeah well – you know…  Tough to get me motivated to do much of anything, sometimes.  Just ask AndrAIa."

"Yeah.  But I'm glad you did – it was fun."

"Yeah."  That was important to Enzo, he knew – the kid always tried to make him have fun, it was something of a crusade.  Matrix understood, even if it annoyed the data out of him sometimes.

"I don't want to go back to the way it was." Enzo said softly.

"What?"

"I don't…  When we don't see each other very much, or talk very much.  I don't want it to go back to being like that."  The boy looked up.  "I liked how it was here – we talked all the time and you answered stuff I asked you, and we helped each other out…  I liked it."

"I liked it too." Matrix smiled.  _Most of the time…_  "But it was just you and me here, you know?  It's not the same back there, Enzo.  And you're going back to the Academy-"

"Yeah, I know.  But even when it _is_ just you and me it's not… it's not like it was here."  _What you really mean is, sometimes I don't like being around you.  Maybe I didn't work hard enough not to let you feel that_.  "You know?"

"I guess." The big sprite nodded.  "But maybe it can be, who knows?"  He cuffed the boy on the neck.  "You're not too old to change."

"Log off!"

"You wish."

"Whatever."  Enzo kicked at his backpack softly.  "_Aniki_?"

"Yeah?"

"You think maybe we could do this every hour?"

"Huh?"

"Y'know." The boy smiled.  "We could go on a camping trip every summer, just us.  Maybe even come _here_ every summer.  Just for a few cycles...  It could be kinda, – you know – our thing.  Just you and me, every hour."

"Yeah, well – I guess that would be OK."  To his surprise, the idea really _did_ seem OK to the big sprite.  Maybe it was just because of the joy the notion brought to his brother's face, but even if it _was_, well - there was nothing wrong with that.  It was as good a reason to like the idea as any.

"Really?  You mean it?  We can do this every hour?"

"Yeah – why not?  It'll be a good learning experience for you – I can teach you stuff they won't teach you in any Academy.  Call it continuing education."

"Alphanumeric!" Enzo beamed.  _It doesn't take much to make him happy…_  A few cycles an hour set aside, that would belong to just the two of them – that wasn't a huge price to pay to see the joy on that face.  Soon enough Enzo wouldn't be a boy anymore and it wouldn't be so easy to make that happen…

The air in front of them shimmered and danced, grew opaque.  "Looks like our ride's here."

Where nothingness had been, a portal appeared – and from it, Bob's arm, followed by the rest of him.  "Hey, Guys.  Have a good trip?"

"Pixelacious.  Right on time, I see.  That's not like you, Bob."

The Guardian rolled his eyes.  "You know your sister, Matrix – she'd delete me if I was late getting your brother home.  So how was it, Enzo?"

"Great." The boy grinned.  "We hiked all over, and went swimming, roasted marshmallows… We even defended a game!"

Bob raised an eyebrow.  "Is that a fact?"

"Don't get me started." Matrix scowled.  He shoved Enzo to his feet.  "C'mon, Slim – grab your pack and lets get home before Dot has a nervous breakdown."

"Yeah, yeah – you don't have to push me!"  The boy snatched his pack and darted into the portal, ducking under Bob's tousling hand.  Matrix grabbed his gear and followed after, turning for one last look around.

"So – it was OK?  No problems?"

"Nothing we couldn't handle." Matrix watched as the mountains and river shimmered and disappeared, feeling a pang of regret.  He'd seen a lot in those few cycles – a lot of changes in his brother that he'd allowed himself to miss for too long.  And not just in his brother, for that matter.  The changes happened too fast – Enzo was a different sprite every cycle now, practically, and too many of those were spent far away from Mainframe.   He'd only be young for a little while longer.  The time they had together was too valuable to waste not really _seeing_ each other.

"Next hour, huh?"

"Sure, Enzo – next hour."  Matrix looked down at his brother's smiling face. It was in looking at that face that he was most clearly able to see the changes in _himself_, he realized.  They were linked always, it seemed - inexorably and in all things, for better or for worse. A change in one couldn't help but spur a change in the other.  Matrix thought of next hour, and all the cycles in between, and he thought of home, and returned the boy's smile. 


	5. Growing Up

**ACT NATURALLY**

**CONCLUSION**

It took a little while to get used to being home – three cycles away wasn't a long time, but Enzo felt like he'd packed a lot more into those cycles than seemed possible.  It was a shock to the operating system to be surrounded by other sprites again, not to mention the hustle and bustle of Mainframe.  Being in Matrix' company was almost like being by himself, in a way – there _were_ the same code, after all, and Matrix was as comfortable with silence as anyone Enzo had ever known.

Still, there was a lot to be said for AndrAIa's face, Dot's cooking, Bob's humor, his own bed – and in a couple of minutes he'd be returning to the Academy, anyway.  It didn't take long for the boy to renew his appreciation for those things, and besides – there was his birthday coming up, and even though he was a little embarrassed to admit it to himself, the prospect of presents and cake and lots of attention still got him a little excited.

When the knock on his door came that first night back, Enzo had been expecting it – more often than not his sister came to share those precious few moments before he reluctantly said goodbye to the cycle and let sleep claim him.  She'd been more relieved than she should have been when he'd come home safely – they'd only been gone three cycles, after all – and more upset than she should about the bruises on his chest and shoulder.  Like his brother had said, maybe he'd just have to accept her overprotectiveness as a part of his life for good – as much a part of him as the unique way he'd come into being.  "Come in."

"Hey, you.  Still up?"

"Sure.  I'm going to sleep soon, don't worry."

"No big file.  It's not a school night."  Dot smiled and sat next to him on the bed.  "You feeling better?"

"Still a little sore.  But it's not too bad."

"Enzo…  Defending a game in a strange system like that, I just don't know-"

"I know, I know!" the boy sighed.  "I heard enough of that from Matrix."

"Not _enough_ – since you went into the game anyway."  She stroked his cheek, frowning.  "Do you need a couple more analgesic subroutines?"

"Nah – I'm fine.  And it's not Matrix' fault, Sis – I talked him into it and besides, we're Guardians!  It's what we _do_."

"I don't blame him, don't worry.  I know you persistent you can be."

"So it's _my_ fault?  I was wrong – go ahead and blame Matrix!"

"You don't get off that easy, Buster!  All I want is for you to be careful, you know?"

"Geez, Dot."  As much as he tried to tell himself to be patient, to understand her, he wondered why she didn't seem to understand _him_.  "We _were _careful.  We've been in tons of games – this was just another one, that's all.  We can handle ourselves."

"I know you can.  But that doesn't mean you should take any unnecessary risks – no matter how small they are.  But I don't want to argue about this now."

"Well – neither do _I_." Enzo said defensively.

"So let's not." His sister smiled wearily.  "There'll be plenty of opportunities to argue about it later, I have a feeling.  You're hardly even a teenager yet."

"Crash…"

"So you had fun?  It was a good trip?"

The boy frowned.  "I _told_ you I did, Sis.  It was great."

"I know, I know…  But that was in front of everyone, and this is just us.  I just thought-"

"Thought what?"  Enzo had always had a peripheral sense of the tension between his siblings, the wariness his sister felt around his brother – but now it sharpened in clarity, and it hurt him like it hadn't before.  "That he'd hit me or delete me or something?"

"Enzo!  I'd never think that.  Why would you say such a thing?"

"You just…  Don't have to sound so _surprised_, that's all.  We had a really good time and we talked about stuff, and it was great.  We're brothers, you know?"

"Yeah.  I know." Dot sighed.  "I was just worried that…  That he might lose his temper or something, maybe not be so much fun to be with.  You know how Matrix can get upset sometimes."

_You mean – you thought I'd piss him off._  "He didn't lose his temper, Sis.  Hardly at all.  We talked about a bunch of stuff and it was a beautiful place and the hiking was great.  We had a great time.  We're even gonna do it every hour."

"You are?"  She raised an eyebrow.  "Matrix said that?"

"Yeah.  I suggested it, but he agreed.  Is it OK?"

For the first time, Enzo's sister looked genuinely pleased.  "Of course it's OK!  I think it's fantastic.  I know how important your big brother is to you."

"But you're surprised?"

"A little.  _Maybe_." Dot smiled.  "But only because I know Matrix doesn't like to _do_ things very often – it has nothing to do with you.  But I think it's wonderful for you two to spend time together, and I'm glad he thinks so too."

"You are?  Really?"

"Of course, Sweetie.  I know there's things you don't like to talk about with me, and-"

"Dot-"

"I _know_, Enzo – it's all right.  And I know Bob has been a great influence on you, and you two talk all the time.  But it's different with Matrix – there are things you share with him that you don't share with anyone else.  You think I don't know how important that is to you?"

"Dot!"  There were still times that his sister surprised him, as well as he thought he knew her – and those times themselves always surprised him.

"I wish things had been easier between you two." She continued quietly.  "It was painful to see how hard it was sometimes – even though I knew from the start that things wouldn't always be easy.  How _could_ they be, the way everything happened?  But the good moments between you two made me happier than you can imagine."

"Really?"  Dot, seemingly, always saw more than Enzo gave her credit for.  Did it bother her that he shared things with Matrix that he couldn't with her?  He grabbed her hand.  "I think things are pretty good now, Sis.  Better than before."

"I think so too, Angel.  I hope so – You both mean the net to me."  She kissed his cheek.  "So - birthday coming up, eh?  You excited?"

"Sure." He blushed.

"Fourteen – my goodness!  It doesn't seem possible it could be fourteen already…"

"Seems like it took _forever_ to me." The boy sighed.

"I'll bet.  Those hours go by faster and faster the older you get, Pal – just wait and you'll see."

"Maybe."  That was one of those things that adults said all the time.  But it didn't make sense – time passed as fast as it passed, didn't it?  That didn't stop them from saying it anyways…

"Fourteen – and ready for your second hour away from home.  What a young man you are."

"I don't feel that way sometimes."

Dot smiled.  "You just don't see – you can't.  But _I_ do.  I see you like no one else sees you.  And you're a young man, now – whether you think so or not."

"A little puny one." Enzo sighed.

"Not so little.  Almost as tall as me now, and getting some big shoulders on you.  But that's not what makes you a man, anyway."

"That's what Matrix said."

"Did he?"  Her eyes twinkled.  "Well he's a little older now – he understands things you don't.  But you understand plenty for a fourteen hour-old."

"Not for two cycles."

"I stand corrected." 

"You're sitting down."

Dot chewed her upper lip and stared at him for a nano, a look he knew all too well.  In a flash her hands were under his chin, and he was howling.  "Stop!"

"That's what happens to kids who think they're comedians.  I can be funny, too!"

"Stop!  I give!"

"Well…"

"Please!" the teenager pleaded, squirming away.

"All right."  Dot folded her arms and smiled, a posture he knew to mean she'd showed him she was still in charge.  It was pointless to fight her.  

"Ow!  You made my bruises hurt more…"

"Poor baby.  I forgot – I'm sorry."  Dot kissed him on top of the head, showing her gentle side now that she'd established her wicked one.  "I'll go and let you sleep, my young man.  And in two cycles we'll have a nice party for you."

"OK.  But you owe me a nicer present now."

"Of course – to make up for the torture.  But somehow I think you'll survive."

"Barely."

"You're a bad actor, Sweetie – always were.  Sweet dreams."

"Night, Sis.  Love you."

"Love you, Angel."  She kissed him one more time and left him to his thoughts.  The boy sighed and lay back, hands behind his head.  Matrix envied him the closeness he shared with his sister – that much he was sure of.  But Enzo thought maybe Matrix didn't remember – or _chose_ not to remember – what it was like to have Dot smother him with worry every cycle.  Matrix didn't appreciate what he had – he was free.  Grown-up.  An adult – and Dot was just his sister, nothing more.  She let him live his life as he saw fit.  That was good, wasn't it?  He wondered, then, if he'd really miss Dot's affectionate but overbearing protectiveness when he outgrew it.  He also wondered if she'd ever give him the _chance_ to miss it…

"Tired?"

"A little.  I haven't walked that much since we were game-hopping."

AndrAIa sat next to him on the couch and Matrix wrapped an arm around the game sprite, savoring the soft warmth of her.  "How did Enzo hold up to the grind?"

"Not bad.  The kid's in pretty good shape – they must work 'em pretty hard at that Academy.  And you know the best part?"

"What?"

"He barely complained the whole trip.  That must beat the whining out of them at that place."

"Matrix!  Stop it – that isn't funny."

"Well – I think it's been good for him, anyway.  He's a lot more mature than he was before he left."

"Maybe that's just because he's growing up."

"Maybe." Matrix yawned.  

"Not too fast, I hope.  I love him the way he is.  He makes me feel young."

"He's fine."  Matrix knew the special place his younger self held in the game sprite's heart – she was the only one, really, who'd known _him_ as a teenager.  They'd shared so much together at that time – so much pain, so much love, so much sorrow.  Enzo was a living link to a chapter of their lives that was long closed.  Maybe the big sprite even understood that a little better now.  "He's actually a pretty good kid, you know?"

"I know.  I fell in love with that kid, remember?"

"Thank the User."  They kissed briefly, a touch of honey on lips and warm breath on cheek.  "Enzo says _he's_ in love, you know."

"What?" she giggled.  "Our little Enzo?"

"Don't sound so surprised.  _I_ was in love when I was his age."

"So you were – I guess the Matrix men start young, huh?  Is it a girl from the Academy?"

"Who else could it be?"

"No one." AndrAIa grinned.  "Go on."

"Her name is Lisa.  He actually told me about it a long time ago, and I assumed it was just some sort of crush, you know?  But apparently he's pretty serious about it."

"That's the girl he was in the game with, right?  Dot mentioned something about him being sweet on her…"

"More than sweet on her.  He says he _loves_ her, I'll have you know.  And believe it or not, she said she loves him, too."

"That's wonderful!" AndrAIa laughed.  "Knowing Enzo I'm not surprised he's taking it seriously – I wouldn't expect him to go into anything halfway, so why should falling in love be any different?"

"I guess.  He seems a little young for all that to me – but I guess I'm not one to talk, am I?"

"Guess not, Lover."

"Don't tell him we talked about this, OK?  He'd be pretty embarrassed."  The game sprite grinned broadly.  "What?"

"Nothing.  You're just very sweet, that's all.  I promise – not a peep."

"Andri…"  The big sprite shook his head.  "You know, at first I couldn't even see why Enzo would want to go on this trip.  I haven't exactly done much to encourage him, have I?  But it doesn't even seem to matter – he saw things the way he saw them, and damned if he wasn't gonna make it _be_ that way."

"What do you mean?"

"You know – between the two of us."  That was a topic that was never easy to talk about, not even with AndrAIa.  His relationship with his brother was not a source of pride for Matrix – though there had been genuinely uplifting moments.  There really hadn't been as many of _any_ kind of moments as there should have been.  "It's hard to explain."

"I think I understand." The game sprite whispered.  "But there's no reason that all can't change now, is there?"

"I don't know.  Maybe.  It never really _bothered_ me before – I just didn't think about it.  But it does now."

"People change, Lover.  Not just kids – adults, too."

"Maybe."  Matrix smiled, thinking back on the tragicomic nanos spent swimming in the vernal pool, the primal emotion of their escape from doom on the rock wall.  "He's a good kid, Andri – you know?  We've wasted a lot of time…"

"Not wasted, Lover.  You've been there for Enzo when he needed you."

"Not enough."

"You weren't ready." The game sprite sighed.  She kissed his cheek, ran her fingers lightly through his hair.  "You needed time to learn how to be the big brother, that's all.  Now you're ready."

"You think so?"  It was always tempting to accept AndrAIa's endless faith in him, no questions asked – but Matrix knew he hadn't always deserved it over the hours.  

"You wouldn't be worrying about it if you weren't, Matrix.  Enzo was always there, waiting – he knew you weren't ready, too.  But he's still there."

"Yeah.  Patient little null, isn't he?"

"Lucky for you." AndrAIa smiled.  "You missed out on a lot of good feelings – now you don't have to anymore."

"Yeah – I guess."  They kissed again, her faith a redemptive wave that washed away his doubt and anger as it always had.  "Maybe he's still young enough to need a big brother for a while."

"He'll always need you, Lover.  You have to be the one to show him the way – no one else can.  Not like you."

"I…  Maybe.  We talked about stuff out there, you know?  Stuff I've never talked about with anybody.  About _us_, even.  He has a lot of questions."

"And no one else can answer them, Enzo.  That's why he waited until _you_ could."

"I guess."  AndrAIa understood – she'd done _her_ share of waiting for him over the hours, there was no point in denying it.  He kissed her hair, inhaled her scent.  "I missed you."

"I missed you too, Enzo."  Matrix lost himself in the warmth of the game sprite – the glow of contentment that she radiated outwards, allowed it to envelop him and soothe him as it always had, since his boyhood.  "I love you."

"Love you."  Maybe she was right – maybe he was really _was_ ready to be the mentor to Enzo that the boy needed.  To be what he'd always _wanted_ to be, deep-down, though he rarely allowed himself to think about it.  Enzo was a gift to him – a part of him, and the beacon to show him a new part of himself he wasn't sure he had the courage to face.  

"You must be tired, Lover – it's been a long few cycles.  You want to go to sleep?" 

"Not quite yet." He grinned.  "Andri?"

"Yeah?"

"How would you feel about, you know…  Trying?"

The game sprite frowned.  "Trying _what_?"

"Trying." Matrix whispered, blushing, kissing her neck softly.  "You know."

"Enzo!  Do you mean it?"

"If you're ready."

She smiled.  "Are _you_?"

"Yeah.  You know, I really think I am." 

It was a good party – they always were, when Dot planned them.  The food, the cake, the presents – his sister knew him, and knew him well.  The themes of his birthday parties had gradually shifted from clowns and ballplayers to Academy blues and music, something a little more befitting the teenager he was now.    The boy had to give her credit – in that way, at least, she was acknowledging the changes in him.

Sure, it was definitely a good party – he'd certainly have liked to have had Mouse and Ray there, and Captain Capacitor's absence on a trade mission left a gap in the festivities.  The old salt was great at parties.  Most of all Enzo yearned to share his special cycle with Lisa, to steal away with her and kiss till his lips hurt – that would be better than any present.  But he'd be with her soon enough, and the cycles at home were growing few as his summer faded.  And Dot still knew how to make him feel special.

Enzo blushed as Dot kissed him from her stool next to him at the bar for what seemed like the millionth time that night.  "You can stop doing that now, OK?  I think everybody's seen you do it by now."

"Sorry." She giggled.  "It's just that birthdays make me think of how fast you're growing up, and that makes them even more special to me."

Enzo looked up at Bob helplessly.  "Couldn't you keep her busy for a while or something?"

"Don't look at me, Birthday Boy.  I already have to deal with her all by myself while you're having fun at the Academy.    This is what you get for abandoning me."

"I didn't hear you complaining when I gave you that brand new MP3 player, you ungrateful little boy."

"Sorry." Enzo smiled sheepishly.  "I thanked you, didn't I?"

"So you did."  Dot leaned in close.  "So you don't want me to sing you "Alphanumeric" this hour?"

"No.  I mean – yes!"  That was a tradition Dot had maintained since the boy's first birthday after the restart and he had to admit, it was his favorite part of the cycle.  "That's different, Sis."

"You mean because no one's watching." His sister grinned.  There was a high keening wail from behind the bar.  "For User's sake…  What happened, Cecil?"

The dedicated server rolled up, looking flustered.  "Ze child fell down, Madame.  I told you I cannot reach him all ze way down zere!  Sacre bleu - A diner is no place for a toddler!"

"Coming." Dot sighed.  

"Saved by the bell, eh, Kid?" Bob chuckled.  "I better go help.  Don't eat all the cake in one night."  

Enzo strolled over to the booth Matrix shared with AndrAIa.  "Hey, Cutie Pie." The game sprite smiled.

"Hey, Andri-Girl.  What're you guys talking about?"

"Stuff.  What happened to Mac?"

"He fell down or something.  It's always _something_.  At least it bought me a few nanos without Dot smooching all over me."

"You love it and you know it."

"I do not!  Stop it…"

Matrix scowled across at the bar.  "I think Cecil is hoping Bob and Dot don't have any more kids."

"He's not a good baby-sitter anyway.  He has no sense of humor whatsoever."

"I guess the two of you spent a large part of your childhoods driving Cecil offline, huh?" the game sprite laughed.

Enzo shrugged.  "It was his fault.  He didn't have to go around yelling all the time when I was just trying to have a little fun."

"Fun and Cecil don't often get used in the same sentence." Matrix said.

"It's not like _you_ have anything to complain about – I hardly ever got left with Cecil until after the restart, which means _you_ hardly every did.  It was mostly when the war was going real bad and everybody was busy all the time."

"Well – you're a big boy now."  Enzo felt like deleting from embarrassment, although unlike when Dot did that to him he didn't think AndrAIa was torturing him on purpose.  She patted his hand.  "You don't have to worry about babysitters anymore. Unless it's _being_ one."

"Yeah.  Sitting Mac isn't so bad.  Except for the diapers."  The teenager stuck his tongue out.  "Gross.  I hope they finish potty-training him soon."

Matrix smiled.  "Well, you never know when you'll get a chance to sharpen your diaper-changing skills, Kid."

"What?"

"Never mind." AndrAIa shot a withering glare at her partner.  

Enzo glanced suspiciously between the two of them, irritated at being left out of the joke.  "What-"

"You enjoying the party?" AndrAIa interrupted.

"Sure."

"Good.  You're getting so grown-up!"  The game sprite leaned in close and planted a pulse-quickening kiss on his forehead.  "Happy birthday, Little Sparky.  I'm so proud of you."

"Uh – thanks."  Enzo felt himself blushing.  His train of thought was gone – what had he been asking about?  It always seemed to happen when Andri did that…

"I'm gonna go get an energy shake – you boys want anything?  Another piece of cake?"

"I'm fine." Matrix replied.

"Me too."

"Cool.  See you in a few, Birthday Boy."

Enzo watched AndrAIa as she walked over the bar.  "No complaints about _her_ smooching all over you, huh Kid?"

"What?"  He was blushing again.  The boy slid into the booth opposite his brother, anxious to change the subject.  "Thanks for the new docking bag, Matrix.  It was totally pixelacious."

"No problem.  If we're going camping every cycle you're gonna need a good bag.  Maybe we could try winter camping – that one's rated for ten-below."

"Yeah – that sounds alphanumeric.  So – you were really serious about that, huh?"

"Sure – why not?  I told you it was a good idea, didn't I?"

"Yeah." Enzo smiled.  "I thought maybe you were just saying it to make me happy.  I think that sometimes."

"I know.  But that's not really my style, is it?"

"Guess not."  

Matrix tapped his fingers on the table absently, a gesture Enzo thought was rather out of character for the big sprite.  The teenager didn't need to be told to see that his brother was in a rare reflective mood.  He'd learned from experience that it was better to resist his own tendency to fill every silent moment - let Matrix get where he was going in his own time.  "So."   

"So what?"

Matrix chuckled.  "I feel like I got to know you a whole let better on Muir, you know?"

"Shouldn't you pretty much totally know me already?  I mean – you know…"

"You'd think.  But you're a lot different than I was, Enzo.  You've led a pretty different life than I did."

"I guess." Enzo shrugged.  "I know I had it a lot easier than you did, and I'm not as tough as you or anything-"

"No!  That's not what I meant." His brother scowled.  "I just mean – I didn't really spend a lot of time getting to know _you_.  We talked sometimes and hung out a little, but…  I dunno. I just had my own idea of what you were like.  I just didn't really _know_ you as well as I should have."

"It's OK – no big deal."

"Maybe.  But it was nice, you know – putting that right."  The big sprite punched his brother's arm softly.  "I'm really glad we did, because I found out you're a pretty amazing kid."

"Thanks."

"And I just wanted to tell you… I'm really glad the restart brought you back."

It was hard for Enzo to find his voice and, when it did, it emerged as a ragged whisper.  "You mean it?"

"You know I do."

The words were akin to ones he'd heard from Dot so many times, but knowing their source made him treasure them like rare jewels.  The boy coughed and stared down at the table quickly.  "You… you have no clue how long I've wanted to hear you say that."

"Yeah." Matrix sighed.  "I _do_, Enzo.  That's something I'll just have to live with.  But better late than never, right?"

"Yeah."  Enzo breathed deeply, forced a smiled to his face.  "I think you're amazing too, _Aniki_."  His brother shrugged.  "I never thought I knew you very well either, but it wasn't 'cause I wasn't trying."

"Yeah.  I know, Enzo.  But listen – I just…  I want you to remember that I'll always be there for you, OK?  When you need me for anything."

"Sure." The boy whispered.  "I never thought you wouldn't be."

"It's just that it's not going to get any easier, that's all.  Trust me – I'm speaking from experience here.  It only gets more complicated as you get older, and things…  Sometimes they sort of don't make _sense_ like they do when you're young.  Lots of things…  You'll have some rough times."

"What kind of things?"

"_All _kinds.  That's why it's important that you know I'm there, OK?  Even if I act like I don't want to be bothered, bother me. And just hang in – you'll get through it."

"I'll try."  The boy smiled weakly.  He wanted more than anything to communicate what it felt like, to _finally_ know that he had a brother.  To know that Matrix was there, helping to show him the way.  But it wasn't easy – the words which came so freely when he was with Dot just didn't seem to flow when he was with his brother.  And with each hour that passed it got harder to put his feelings into words, even when it _was_ with his sister.  Even as it somehow seemed to be getting a little _easier_ for Matrix – though that wasn't saying much.  "Thanks."

"Sure."  Matrix patted his arm.  "Thanks for waiting it out, Little Brother.  I'm glad you did."

"I had to.  You're the only big brother I have."

"And you said you had it easy!"

"You act like you've been some kind of terrible brother…  But you haven't!  You were always there whenever the RAM chips were down."

"Maybe." The big sprite smiled.  "But that's not good enough.  I'm not the same guy I was when I came back from the games – it may take me a while, but I figure stuff out eventually.  So I'm your brother full-time now, got it?  And we don't have to wait till we go camping once a year to talk about stuff that you're worried about."

"Deal." Enzo grinned.  "I hope you don't regret saying all this later!"

"I'm sure I will, sometimes.  But the really good stuff is never easy – you have to work hard for it.  I figured that out a _long_ time ago.  I just wasn't ready to work through the tough stuff to get there."

"And you are now?"

"Yeah.  You know, I really think I am."

"Cool."  Matrix reached over and tousled the boy's hair, and Enzo slapped the hand away, laughing.  Maybe there were some things that didn't _have_ to be said when it was between brothers – maybe that's how brothers were.  Enzo didn't really know – Matrix was the only brother he'd ever had.  But that was OK – he wouldn't have traded the big sprite for any other _Aniki_ in the net, and that said far more than any words ever could.  


End file.
